Tomatoes either suck complete ass or kick ass. Tomatoes, like bitches, come in all different shapes, sizes, and personalities. I am here to tell you about how your favorite type of tomato is reflective on what type of person you are.
Beefsteak tomatoes:
Classic, dope tomato. You can cut those Johnsons up into some fine slices and throw them onto a cheeseburger. You can never go wrong with a beefsteak. I mean it’s the creme de le creme of tomatoes.
Cherry tomatoes:
Okay, that’s fine. Maybe some balsamic vinegar and olive oil and you make for a great healthy snack. Nothing great about you, but nothing bad either.
Heirloom tomatoes:
Fuck off.
Roma tomatoes:
You make for a fire bolognese. Almost better than a beefsteak tomato.
Kumato tomatoes:
Weird.
Big Zebra tomatoes:
Even weider!
Be a good tomato, not a weird tomato.
I honestly cannot think of anymore tomatoes. Peace.
