Aside from being incredibly mediocre, Rihanna’s Super Bowl halftime show was pretty much just one big pregnancy announcement. Just about a year ago, Rihanna had her first child with A$AP Rocky, and used the biggest sporting event of the year to tell everyone that she was knocked up again.
Yesterday afternoon, Rihanna shared several photos from a maternity shoot that all featured her without a top on and (unfortunately) covering her breasts:
I’m not a sicko who’s into pregnant women, so imagine the disappointment I faced when mere seconds after seeing “Rihanna Topless Photoshoot” as a trending headline I was hit with the realization that her stomach would be more on display than her boobs. This just feels wrong.
I don’t care if Rihanna is going to do a maternity photoshoot and show off her pregnancy body. I won’t necessarily enjoy it, but it doesn’t make me angry. What does make me angry is that she had the audacity to be selfish two times in the past six months: first she made the greatest Sunday in the calendar year all about her and her lack of birth control use, and then she didn’t even have the decency to make up for it by showing us prime RiRi honkers.
This is an official demand on behalf of TotalFratMove and horny young men everywhere that the second Rihanna shaves off that baby weight, we get a Playboy centerfold style release of her naked body. It’s the right thing to do, Rihanna, so step up to the plate.