The nerds have been in the lab and they have some hard news for us men: we all have small penises.
According to an article written by the New York Post, a recent study published in Translational Andrology and Urology says that men with longer noses tend to have larger penises. Researchers in South Korea examined 1,160 men in their thirties, measuring the length of their noses from the corner of the eye to the end of each nostril and comparing it to the size of their nonerect penises.
The study found that most men had a nonerect length of two to four inches and a circumference of two-and-a-half inches. However, those with a longer nose tended to have a more substantial little friend. This correlation is believed to be linked to higher levels of testosterone exposure in the womb, as testosterone influences the development of both the nose and the genitals in male infants.
After reading these studies I have found that I may be an outlier in the grouping of data. You’re probably thinking, “Alex Chill”. No. 2-4 inches is massive. How do you guys walk normally?
It’s worth pointing out that these studies come shortly after a separate study analyzed data to determine which country’s men have the largest average erect penis size. Ecuador emerged as the country with the most well-endowed men, boasting an average size of 6.93 inches.
The only thing that made me upset about that list is that science is going too far. These nerds are pulling men aside and asking them to drop their pants. It’s sick and I won’t stand for it. Also, screw you U.K.