- Peeing in the Sink
- Sniffing Underwear that is Definitely NOT Clean
- Scratching their Balls and Discreetly Sniffing
- Sniffing their Farts
- Washing their Hands 1x a Day
- Practicing their Golf Swings at Inopportune Times
- Yelling “Kobe” Anytime They Throw Something Away
- Removing EVERYTHING from their Pockets when they get to a girl’s house
- Thinking that they can land a plane if there was an emergency
- Saying “I could’ve gone D1 if I didn’t hurt my knee”
- Testing the structural integrity of a dog by patting it on its side
- Saying “She ain’t going anywhere” after loading something in a truck bed
- Rinsing a glass with hot water and thinking it’s clean
- All Groceries in one trip
- Slapping their pockets to make sure they have “phone, keys, wallet”
- Cleaning the toilet with their pee
- Flushing the toilet before they pee to see if they can time it
- Sizing a guy up the first time they meet him
- Telling themselves at 2 AM, blacked out, that they’re going to change their life choices tomorrow
- Having a plan in case they’re involved in a mass shooting
- Leaning forward to get “serious” when playing video games
- Envisioning a scenario where they’re in “Lord of the Flies”
- Drinking every last drop of their girlfriends’ water because it “tastes better”
- In the shower, thinking they’re a water bender by letting the water run down their fingers
- Getting emotionally attached to a sports team that they picked when they were 8 years old and letting it affect them the rest of their lives