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I Haven’t Watched Porn in 6 Months and Can Now Feel The 9th Dimension

I realized one day that I was jerkin’ the gerk more often than I was comfortable with and sometimes just cause I was bored… so I just stopped. Yup, just… stopped.  It’s been really good for my mental health.  Between that and cutting way back on social media and leaning more into the things that give my life meaning, including some of the values that my fraternity also happens to hold, I’ve really been a lot happier.  I’ve also developed 5 new senses and 3 super powers. It also might not surprise you to learn that there is a lot of scientific data about the affects of pornography and social media on mental health. I won’t berate you with the facts or tell you what to do with your life while you’re young.  Anyway…

I figured if it was going to be super difficult I’d at least have some practice going into No Nut November.  The biggest help was to put a calendar up (well it was just a column on Google Spread Sheets called “Streak” and tracked whether I did or didn’t wax on/wax off each day with O or X.  That made it A LOT easier.  Because then if I was like “Weeeeeeell maybe just today. What could it hurt?” I knew I’d have to look at the calendar every day and see that X on the column instead of that perfect O streak.  I didn’t have one slip up.  Discipline is also a muscle that is strengthened as it’s used and carries over into other areas of your life.  So just building up that skill has been super useful.  “Don’t break the streak,” was my mantra that really kept me going.  Eventually it was easy.  2 weeks in it was pretty easy and 2 months in it was no sweat.  I don’t even look at the calendar at this point. 

Some of you might be thinking “But what about prostate cancer?” to which I say “Thanks for thinking of me.”  I heard that early on when I told some other people online I was doing this.  But it came more like, “Enjoy the prostate cancer, bitch!”  when they took my quest as a personal attack on them for some reason.  I was only slightly concerned about that specifically but decided I’d check out what the studies actually say while I was at it. 

The studies that discuss ejaculation as preventing prostate cancer only showed results for old people and them having sex, not masturbation.  They showed that sex demonstrated a different type of ejaculation compared to jerking off.  The studies admit that it could be a case of correlation and not causation.  The absolute mad lads also shared other healthy habits in addition to railling biddies on the reg, such as exercising and healthy eating.  Seriously who are these guys they studied? “Excuse me? Would you like to participate in a study? We are trying to find a sample of senior citizens who FUCK on a regular basis. Do you FUCK?” “Why, yes I do.” 

What about premature ejaculation?  What ABOUT it? If you don’t wack off enough you’ll cum too soon with a girl!  To paraphrase the great Dave Chappelle, when I finish with a woman it certainly feels RIGHT on time to me.  And if she doesn’t have to spend half an hour down there, a lady is going to be willing to give your southern gentleman a close talking to all the way to completion and more often, especially when she feels like such a champ/pro at it.  At least, that’s been my experience. 

So has the 9th dimension, Ultra Instinct, Instant Transmission, quick bj’s, and extra hours of sleep been worth giving up all the step siblings, casting couches and free taxi rides? For me, overall I’d say it has.  

What do you think?

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Written by SharkWeekTFM

Every week is Shark Week when you're a shark

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