the godfather
Earlier this summer, the fast-food chain Subway announced a promotion in which one lucky fan would receive a lifetime supply of free food. However, in order to qualify for these sweepstakes, you have to promise that you will willingly change your name to “Subway”. I get that free food is great, but I don’t think that eating a footlong every day for the rest of my life would be worth legally switching my first name to a restaurant that is still closely associated with a child predator. To each their own, I guess.
When I first saw this promotion announced, I figured that there would be a couple of wackjobs who sign up. But 10,000? That number has to be fake. I refuse to believe that there are 10,000 people that love Subway that much. It’s insanity. Out of all the sandwich chains, Subway is your favorite? I’m taking Jersey Mikes or Potbelly over Subway every single time without fail. If I’m absolutely starving, Subway could get the job done. But, I also realize that there’s a fifty-fifty chance that I end up with food poisoning after ordering “Chuck Barkley’s meatball sub” or whatever other garbage promotion they have going on at the time.
If it sounds like I’m hating on Subway, it’s because I am. I don’t understand how such a mid fast-food chain is actually going to get someone to legally change their name to “Subway” as a part of some elaborate marketing scheme. I guess you could just do it in secret and never tell anyone that your real name is Subway, but I feel like Subway (the company) is going to blast this person’s face all over the internet. I’d hope they do some extensive background checks before crowning a winner though – don’t want another Jared situation.
