25 Things That All Dudes Do

University of Michigan, Dearborn, Michigan, USA.
  1. Peeing in the Sink
  2. Sniffing Underwear that is Definitely NOT Clean
  3. Scratching their Balls and Discreetly Sniffing
  4. Sniffing their Farts
  5. Washing their Hands 1x a Day
  6. Practicing their Golf Swings at Inopportune Times
  7. Yelling “Kobe” Anytime They Throw Something Away
  8. Removing EVERYTHING from their Pockets when they get to a girl’s house
  9. Thinking that they can land a plane if there was an emergency
  10. Saying “I could’ve gone D1 if I didn’t hurt my knee”
  11. Testing the structural integrity of a dog by patting it on its side
  12. Saying “She ain’t going anywhere” after loading something in a truck bed
  13. Rinsing a glass with hot water and thinking it’s clean
  14. All Groceries in one trip
  15. Slapping their pockets to make sure they have “phone, keys, wallet”
  16. Cleaning the toilet with their pee
  17. Flushing the toilet before they pee to see if they can time it
  18. Sizing a guy up the first time they meet him
  19. Telling themselves at 2 AM, blacked out, that they’re going to change their life choices tomorrow
  20. Having a plan in case they’re involved in a mass shooting
  21. Leaning forward to get “serious” when playing video games
  22. Envisioning a scenario where they’re in “Lord of the Flies”
  23. Drinking every last drop of their girlfriends’ water because it “tastes better”
  24. In the shower, thinking they’re a water bender by letting the water run down their fingers
  25. Getting emotionally attached to a sports team that they picked when they were 8 years old and letting it affect them the rest of their lives

Written by TFM Stelly

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