28-Year-Old Woman Arrested For Pretending To Be 17-Year-Old High Schooler

You would need to pay me millions of dollars to go back to high school, yet this crazy woman did just for jail time.

28-year-old Martha Jessenia Gutierrez Serrano was arrested for posing as a 17-year-old girl in order to attend Hahnville High School in Louisiana. While authorities are still investigating her motive, it has been reported by the St. Charles Parish Sheriff’s Office that Serrano and her mother Marta Elizabeth Serrano Alvarado faked both a passport and birth certificate for her to enroll in the school’s 2022-23 school year.

While the academic year in Louisiana ended on May 25, the St. Charles Parish School System received an anonymous tip that a 20-something year old woman was pretending to be a 17-year-old student, prompting an investigation four days after school let out on May 29. Fast forward two weeks later to this past Tuesday, June 13th when Serrano and her mother were both arrested on counts of injuring public record.

Personally, I’m still waiting on a lot of details. For starters, I need to know what this woman looked like. She either needs to have adult braces or legitimately be a little person, either of which will make her a prime sex target in jail. I’m only 22 years old and am confident that if I pulled up to my high school I’d stick out like Austin Reaves on the Lakers. This woman is a full decade older than her alter-ego and somehow no one caught on until immediately after the school year. Seems sus.

The real question is why did she do this? High school is one of the most miserable places on earth. Everyone secretly hates each other, there’s way too much work, and you aren’t old enough to do anything fun. There are only two possible reasons one would go back to high school. The first and most obvious is some sort of weird, disgusting pedo thing which I’m not going to get into because I’m sure everyone is thinking the same things that I am. The second, and lowkey a scheme I could get behind, is to sell nicotine. If I learned anything from high school it wasn’t trigonometry or nation capitals, but that high schoolers don’t love anything more than nicotine. If this woman was selling nic sticks to 17-year-olds inside of classrooms, that’s kinda commendable. Not in a “you’re doing the world a great service” type of way, but more like a “that’s kind of creative and impressive” kind of thing. Do I still think this woman is batshit? Absolutely, but that’s mostly because I think her motives had more to do with possible option number one.

Alex Becker

Written by Alex Becker

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