Unlike its portrayed in the 2005 classic Ice Cube comedy, Are We There Yet, road trips suck. Even a spontaneous trip with the fellas where you all lock eyes and simultaneously exclaim, “ROAD TRIP” gets to a point where everyone is bored and dying to stretch their legs. After a few hours of being stuck in a tiny metal prison with a group of people you are starting to hate, you will need some games to play to pass the time.
The Sports/Movie Game
The creators of this one didn’t feel the need for creativity when naming this one. No worries. You can teach anyone this game in 30 seconds and use it to eat a bunch of time. For the sports game, start with a professional sports team. The next person has to say their jersey number, their college, or another team they’ve played for. The next person has to say someone else who has that thing in common, or they lose a life. The movie game goes the same way, except start with an actor, and list one of their other movies, co-stars, or directors. Both serve the same function of being a great time killer, while you can also google a few killer answers before suggesting you start the game to look like the intellectual big dick in the locker room.
The Alphabet Game
This is a game that I would never play unless trapped in a car with people whose conversation topics are as boring as a white-middle-aged-suburban-empty-nester’s social life (Sorry mom and dad). This game tasks everyone with finding every letter of the alphabet, in order, on the signs you pass. I can’t exaggerate how long this game takes. The more rural of an area you’re driving through the longer this takes. Typically, what I do is suggest this game gets played so no one in the car is focused on telling you about their bullshit life anymore. Be content taking last place, and throw a fake letter in every now and again so people think you’re still playing. Now let that take your family’s attention so you can sneak a few vape rips.
I was unaware of the name for this one so I’m taking a creative liberty on it. For this one, you need to go to a rest stop and purchase a burger with pickles, and as many condiments as possible. You can also bring pickles and condiments in the car with you, but you don’t have to if you prefer your friends and family to think you’re sane. What you do is you grab a pickle covered in ketchup, mayonnaise, or whatever else is available to you, and launch it at a nearby car. If you do this correctly, the pickle will stick to their window. The way to win, is be in the car whenever someone successfully sticks a pickle. If you don’t laugh at the site of this happening, wait until you see how utterly confused someone when they try to use their windshield wipers to remove a pickle from the front of their car.
One on One Driving
This one is simple. The person driving is playing defense. The person sitting shotgun is trying to get the driver to crash. Either pull the wheel, shift the gear into reverse, or just kinda hit them in the face super hard. Take turns. Each crash is one point.