5 Reasons Why You Need A Frat Hound

A 12 week old golden retriever puppy in a domestic environment. He lies on a yellow armchair. Space for copy.

Since the dawn of greek life dogs have played a pivotal role. Some of the earliest composites feature frat hounds. One of the best to ever do it was Waffles, the President of Leashes at Phi Kappa Theta, University of San Diego. If you’re one of the few houses around the country that doesn’t see the need for a fluffy fraternal friend allow me to persuade you.

  1. Woman
    1. I feel like we can all agree on the fact that dogs help when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. I had my dog for 10 days at school last year and outside of having to get up before 12 to let him out, it was amazing. My 10-minute walk to my frat house every day would take me 35 minutes. Just dropping Riz Khalifa albums left and right.
  2. Composites
    1. From parents to sorority girls, composites are some of the first things your party guests will see when they walk into your frat house. Every good composite requires a stoic frat hound. From Vladimir Pugtin, sergeant in arms, to Rocky Chestnut, head of sorority relations, having a pup can make or break your fraternity’s composite.
  3. House vibes
    1. Frat life can be hard sometimes, so it’s always good to have a frat hound to calm things down. When the stresses of class become too much, having a fluffy lad to chill with can raise the vibes exponentially. Dogs are just a phenomenal hang because, unlike women, they don’t talk. No drama, it’s strictly vibes with frat hounds.
  4. Shitting on other frats lawns
    1. Dropping landmines on the boys next door is the perfect crime. For starters as long as your little soldier isn’t caught in the act there is no way to tell who did it. Also, I can guarantee “pick up the shit on the front lawn” would become a pledge task very quickly. Just pure inconvenience for the kids you were born to hate.
  5. Woman
    1. Guys, I can’t emphasize this point enough. Golden retrievers make women melt. Even if your frat is putting up the top WPW (Women per Week) ratio on campus, your numbers will soar with the addition of a dog. Even the resident frat house virgin might get a shot at greatness who knows? 

Written by Brady White

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