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5 Words That Need To Go Away

The slang nowadays is getting out of control. There are countless words and phrases that either make me cringe or get my blood boiling. I was going to make a list of all of them, but because Gen-Z always plays the victim, I decided I’d also throw some shade on words that old people use. So, here are five words and phrases that just need to be deleted.

“It’s the _______ for me”

I guess this is how girls insult each other now. Rather than actually being creative and making jokes about people behind their backs, it seems people are now taking a person’s biggest insecurity and just pointing it out. That just seems mean. When I make fun of someone it’s most likely going to be behind their back because I don’t like confrontation. If for some reason it is to their face it needs to be funny. Imagine just telling someone “it’s the nose for me.” Fuck that. What about their nose? Is it too big or too small? Is it a problem with the shape, size, or face placement? Be more specific and try a little harder. Maybe make a joke about their heightened sense of smell or how you could see their brain, anything that shows a little effort. This new “it’s the” shit isn’t constructive in the slightest. If you are going to tease someone, do it the right way: take the time to think of something clever that targets the problem at hand and also makes others laugh. If your comment doesn’t hold any entertainment value you just look like a dick.

“Pot”

To parents: weed is no longer called pot. It’s not ganja or Mary Jane or reefer or even the devil’s lettuce anymore. If you say any of those you may as well just be calling children “whippersnappers.” New acceptable terms for marijuana include weed, bud, tree, nug, and gas (though the last one only works if you either aren’t white or live in New York City). In today’s world, smoking is referred to by the way in which one would smoke, not the substance itself. For example, no one is going to say “hey man, you wanna smoke some weed?” That guy just sounds like a cop. Not that weed is illegal anymore, but I just don’t fuck with 12. A normal person would say “hey dude, wanna take a mole?” or “yo, you down to smoke a J?” At the end of the day though, if my parents are talking to me about weed odds are the conversation isn’t going in that direction.

“Periodt”

Are you people not aware that there is already a symbol for this word? It was created back in Jesus times by the Mesopotamians and is literally just a dot. Way easier, right? I get maybe sometimes you want to emphasize that your sentence is finished, but why the fuck did you need to slap a “t” on the end? The “p” in pterodactyl does more than that. If you’re regularly using the word “periodt” whether it’s on social media or real life, please never talk to me. You are the same type of person that still says “okurrr,” wears those fluffy slipper-slides in public, and drives a Nissan Altima more damaged and beaten then Steve-O. 

“Beer money”

This is a term parents throw around to college kids when they give them a little extra spending money. I’m not gonna go too in on parents for this one though because it’s nice of them to be giving us money in the first place. The highlight of parent’s weekend at any college isn’t the big football game or watching you mom get blacked off of two cups of boxed wine at the tailgate, it’s at the end of the weekend as your parents are packing up when your pops hands you whatever loose cash is in his wallet and says “here, take some extra beer money.” Now, I know he says this to be cool and show that he knows what’s going on in my life, but to be quite frank it’s not really beer. You see, the house always has beer. Dad has already paid for my beer for the entire year when he forked over dues. Yeah, of course I still need spending money, but just not for beer. If dad really wanted me to know he’s dope like that he should call it “dispensary dollars” or “womp bucks.”

“Kk”

I just don’t get the point of this. “K” makes sense a little bit because it’s faster to type, but “Kk” is just as easy as “Ok.” Plus, one small slip up and you just promoted a neo-Nazi organization.

What do you think?

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Written by Alex Becker

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