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50 Signs You’re a Soft Beta Male

Yea man you’re soft. Hate to see it. But the good news is that you have the power to ensure your masculinity doesn’t take another hit by recognizing all the weak pussy moves you’re pulling every five minutes. Do better bro and maybe pick up a 45 lb dumbbell for once. You’ve been stuck on those 25’s for the last fucking year. 

  1. Wearing gloves when you lift/not embracing bleeding/injury when lifting
  2. Not calling your mom on Mother’s Day
  3. Talking loud, walking fast, giggling
  4. Getting upset when girls reject you
  5. Arguing on Facebook or saying “I was so tempted to write back. Maybe I should delete my social media.” You weak beta!
  6. Not grunting when you lift/getting annoyed when other bros grunt. You probably wince at every other loud noise in your life too. Fix that.
  7. Being embarrassed to go to the gym alone or needing a gym buddy
  8. Looking at your phone to appear busy or spending too much time on the internet/computer rather than with your girl
  9. Shying away from confrontation
  10. Holding grudges/staying mad
  11. Getting really nervous before interviews or admitting that you’re nervous
  12. Being a cat person/sharing cat video videos
  13. Skipping songs repeatedly in the car cause you’re an excitable and fickle beta male if you haven’t caught on yet
  14. Driving anything more than 20 mpg (highway obviously)
  15. Gossiping about your roommates cause of your own insecurity
  16. Taking your gum out of the wrapper before chewing it
  17. Boba Tea or sipping any drink really slow
  18. Agreeing too much/being a ‘yes man’
  19. Taking back what you say after you say it
  20. Playing the victim/being offended & looking for a way out of situations/giving up
  21. Blaming your parents for shit/not talking to them
  22. Getting embarrassed when asked if you have a girlfriend yet
  23. “Can’t do spicy food”
  24. “She’ll change” or “We used to have chemistry” – weak sauce bro
  25. “Nah man, her and I just wanna stay friends”
  26. Double texting girls, opening a snap/responding back quicker than 20 min
  27. Not realizing you’re being led on and being upset after you realize
  28. Taking 2 rest days in a row from the gym
  29. Being a poor loser after any game
  30. Saying you’re ‘sorry’ at unnecessary times
  31. Skipping leg day/bragging about your days off from the gym
  32. Asking out/breaking up with a girl over text
  33. Taking more than 2 practice swings on the golf course and saying “good shot” the second your buddy hits the ball when you have no clue where the ball is going
  34. Holding a wine glass and aerating/preferring white over red/preferring wine in general
  35. “I can’t do beer” or critiquing beer
  36. Crossing your legs
  37. Regretting high school experiences
  38. Crying over a girl or worse…writing a song about it
  39. Saying “I should have joined a frat” after college
  40. Asking about the hazing process during bid week
  41. Lying about what you do for a job or exaggerating the hell out of stories
  42. Discussing zodiac signs
  43. Always being available and opening up about your life on the first date
  44. Not making a move/making too many moves
  45. Skipping through offensive parts of a movie…yikes bro
  46. Excessively cleaning your room, car, etc. like you’re on a fucking TLC ‘clean freaks’ reality show or something bro
  47. Blocking people you don’t like on social media/being petty on the gram or sending a novel long text explaining shit
  48. Letting your date change the plans
  49. Being too worried about how your hair looks or wearing shit that doesn’t match to attract attention
  50. Taking Instagram photos for girls/offering to be the cameraman….yikes

What do you think?

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Written by TSM

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