I Think Swae Lee Might Be An Alien

On January 31, 2021, Swae Lee tweeted the most out of pocket thing I have seen since this piece of history.

Now, I’ve had my fair share of off-colored tweets

But I write for the JV version of Barstool Sports; I’m not a fucking global superstar. Swae Lee sings about rolling up blunts and spending thousands on strippers; he isn’t an internet jester. Once you name an album, “Swaecation,” I feel like you’ve lost the privilege of tweeting things that Nick Colleti would have said on Vine in 2014.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this tweet. It began to eat at my life. Why in THE FUCK would Swae Lee Tweet that? For the last forty-two hours, Swae Lee has been in my head, living in a duplex appropriately sized for a single guy that moved to Fort Lauderdale in his mid-fifties next to the dean from my high school. They’ve been laughing about the fact that I was diagnosed with a (very rare) male UTI in 2016. Then it dawned on me, Swae Lee looks like something that was a big part of my past. Something or someone I once loved a long time ago.

Lil Mayo.

Body Type:


Affinity To Flex Smoking Blunts On The Gram:

Belief In Extraterrestrial Life:

This is AT LEAST worth having a conversation about.

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