TFM
“Why isn’t Livvy Dunne dating me?”
Every time I see her post, I just think about how totally unfair it is that she has a boyfriend whose name isn’t Tim Moxey. I mean just look at this girl:
How is it possible that she is that hot? I mean seriously. I’ve considered transferring to LSU every day for the past year and a half just on very, very, very slim chance she’d even speak words to me.
“Can I afford DoorDash?”
No, you can’t. You’re going to order it anyway, but you can’t afford it.
“Fuck it, I might drop out”
Every time I wake up before the hour of 11am, which is, unfortunately, almost every day, I wonder if this whole college thing is really worth it.
“Is it too early to jerk off?”
I’ve already given up on No-Nut-November multiple times, so I assume this question might be a bit more central to me than everybody else. But don’t act like you don’t have that daily struggle of figuring out if that’s how you really want to spend the next fourteen five minutes of your day.
“This class is a waste of time”
The sad thing is that it probably is at least some of the time. I’m writing this blog in a creative writing class right now while my professor gives a rundown of the grading system for the fourth time this semester.
“I love women”
Fellas, “Halloweekend” just passed, how can you not have a daily appreciation for the female species? Seriously, their “costumes” are really a blessing to all of us.
“I hate women”
This might not be daily, but it’s gotta happen at least a few times a week. Whether it’s your girlfriend being a dick or you getting dipped on Snapchat by the girl you bought four drinks for over the weekend, every guy will experience a few moments of intense misogyny pretty frequently.
“The weekend should last way longer”
If it weren’t for the weekends, I don’t think anyone would make it through four years of college, so it makes complete sense that every waking moment is spent waiting for it to come and wishing for it to last longer.
