A Camping Hangover Is The Worst Hangover

So this weekend I went camping with my family. I only have a couple more weeks to enjoy my summer until I’m on crutches and even more of a cripple. I’m trying to jam-pack an entire summer worth of fun in only a couple of weeks. So to say I drank a shit ton this weekend would be an understatement. I had to deal with the torture this morning as we drove home. This is what made me realize that dealing with a hangover while camping is the worst.

It’s Never Comfortable Sleeping

Regardless of how you camp, you’re not going to be comfortable. If you’re in a tent, you’re sleeping on a hill, sleeping on rocks or roots. You have no way to control the temperature, and you’re either sweating your balls off or freezing your dick off. If you’re glamping, you’re staying in a cabin, which should be like a hotel room, right? Well, you’re wrong; it doesn’t matter how much you spend; these cabins are like the Super 8 that have hookers chilling on the corner. It must be illegal not to have heat in rooms, so they give you heat, but gg to your nose. It’ll smell like hair is on fire, dust will fly out like you’re in the middle of the Sahara desert. It’s 95 out, and you want an air conditioner. Nope remember you’re camping; that’s a luxury you won’t get. Have fun being drunk and laying in your own sweat. So you’re in a cabin, at least you don’t have to lay on the ground; you at least have beds. Well, that’s true, but most of these mattresses are about 2 inches thick, and you might as well be laying on a piece of plywood.

There’s So Much Shit To Unpack

If you go and stay at a hotel, you bring home your clothes, deodorant, a toothpaste, and that’s about it. Most of that stuff you can fit in one backpack. This is not the case for camping. You need to bring everything that I mentioned before and a lot more. You need bedding, food, shit to cook the food with, fishing supplies, camp chairs, firewood, and probably some other shit that I’m forgetting. So if you’re like me and go hard the night before you have to go home, packing all of this shit up is a nightmare. That’s only half the work. After you play Tetris in your car, you have to go home and unpack everything. You’ll never want to melt in your couch more.

Your Body Is Sore

Camping is supposed to be relaxing. You sit around the campfire, have some beers, and just enjoy the day. That’s not reality. You’re used to being a lazy bum who orders food online and sit in a chair for 10 hours on your computer. While camping, there’s cooking that needs to happen, cleaning up that needs to happen, walking around the campsite, and exploring fishing waters. If you try to fish where it’s easy to get to and wide open, you’ll probably catch nothing and be getting tangled up in other people’s lines. You need to go out and explore, and that means walking through the woods, walking in swampland, and climbing up and downhills. At the end of the day, your body is exhausted, and what’s the best way to help with that exhaustion? By getting absolutely hammered, of course. That’s all good until you wake up the next morning with a raging hangover, and your legs feel like they just completed a marathon.

With all of that complaining about camping, I still love it. If it were up to me, I would spend the entire summer camping. From backyard games being played all day, fishing all day, and of course, day drinking, it doesn’t get better. Either with family or with the boys, it’s a great time. If you never had to leave, the hangovers wouldn’t be that bad.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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