Mailman Dave
A tenant in the UK proved to be every landlord’s worst nightmare after leaving his apartment a revolting hoarder’s hellhole inundated with thousands of cans, rotting food — and a person-size mound of excrement. “As soon as I walked through the door there were beer cans everywhere and the smell was terrible,” Freddie Gillium-Webb
NY Post
Is it bad that the first thing I thought of was how much money this man left there? 6000 beer cans times 5 cents for bottle deposits are 300 solid dollars. As my alcoholic grandfather once said, “if they’re gonna pay me to drink beers, I’ll keep drinking more.” Everybody has been there for the morning after a party. It normally looks like a war zone, empty beer cans everywhere, red solo cups that were once filled with dip spit but were then spilled, maybe a pile of vomit in the corner, and general destruction. If it’s your house that hosted the party, you turn into the ultimate cleaner as you run around like a chicken with its head cut off. If it’s your friend’s house, there’s an unspoken bond that no matter how hungover you are, you will help clean up the mess. Now imagine if you just did nothing. You left the vomit in the corner, the empty beer cans, the spilled cup of dip spit, and the half-eaten food you thought you wanted at 4 in the morning. Then the next day, you did all of that again and piled the entire shit on top of each other.
If you thought that the empty beer cans that had spiders make homes were bad, that’s not even close to the worst part of this house.
The toilet, meanwhile, had never been flushed. Instead, the tenant had carefully adorned it with a 4-foot pile of “toilet paper and feces” like a “leaning tower of poo-sa,” Gillium-Webb described. He suspects that the manure Matterhorn may have been due to a faulty flusher, which has since been fixed.
NY Post
This man had a literal shit tower. Imagine trying to flush your toilet, and it doesn’t work, so instead of calling your landlord or taking matters into your own hands, you shit on the ground. Then the next time you need to shit, you squat over the mountain and add another layer. You keep doing this until the mountain peak is so high that it’s touching your asshole while you squat.
The mountain of refuse was so immense that Gillium-Webb reportedly went through 100 trash bags and 10 bottles of bleach over the course of the “never ending” job. “After the first day it didn’t even look like I’d made a difference,” he said, adding that the landlord was forced to load the rubbish into a garbage truck he kept at a building site. They then used a digger to compact the trash into the vehicle.
NY Post
At this point, you need to burn the entire thing to the ground. Fuck trying to clean it up; if a hoarder does that much destruction, there’s no saving it. If I found out that the person who rented my apartment was like that, I would think I would die of mold infestation.
