Always Have Your Drugs In A Different Pocket Than Your License

Nananananana Florida man. If I ever need a blog topic, just typing Florida man into Reddit is like striking gold. This man was first stopped because he almost ran into a gas pump. He was feet away from blowing himself up, I have no idea what would happen in real life if you hit a gas pump, but I imagined it would be exactly like the movies.

The deputy then asked Lopez for his driver’s license so he started rifling through his pockets again and this time pulled out a small green package labeled “Dank Gummies” with “cannabis-infused” written on it as well, records show. The deputy asked if Lopez just pulled out THC gummies and Lopez claimed it was normal candy but when he was asked to hand over the package, the deputy saw that it was labeled as containing 500 mg of THC, according to authorities. Deputies said Lopez also had a package of “Medicated Nerds ropes” that contained 400 mg of THC per rope.


This man’s mug shot makes it look like he had at least one Nerd Rope. I’m very old school with weed. My favorite way to smoke it is by grinding it up and rolling a joint. I’ve seen friends with Dabs, and that shit looks like something out of Harry Potter. The goo doesn’t look like weed, and then they’re busting out blow torches like they’re about to clock in for an 8-hour shift welding cars. I’ve had my share of special brownies, but every time they taste god awful. It’s always one friend who has watched some video and thinks they’re a chemist turning the weed into butter. With marijuana becoming legal in more states there are actual real companies making special snacks. The days of eating brownies that can cause a chip to crack are over.

Regardless of what you are carrying, if you’re either not allowed to have it, like stealing little nip bottles from your parents, or if you’re carrying illegal drugs, you’re insanely paranoid. You’re constantly checking your pocket to make sure that it didn’t fall out, and the second that you don’t feel it, your heart drops. You instantly start to feel around your other pockets like a madman until you realize you’re a dumbass who put it in your other pocket. You always designate one pocket for important shit and one pocket for illegal stuff.

Clothes should come with a special pocket to put little baggies in. Feel free to steal that million-dollar idea.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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