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Are You Ready To Get Extra Fucked Up This Summer With White Claws New Surge Seltzers?

Don’t lie; you love Seltzers. Is it easy to make fun of people drinking Seltzers? Yes, but don’t be such a hardo with your IPA’s that you only drink to make yourself look cool. Nobody actually likes the taste of those IPA’s that are so strong tasting you could use it as motor oil. If you want to get super drunk, seltzers do that trick, and they taste good. Sipping on bourbon is fun, and all but when it’s the middle of the summer, drinking a dozen ice-cold seltzers hits different. Well, for all of those people that think that Seltzers are too weak, White Claw now has Surge, which comes in a bigger can and is 8%. The saying There’s No Laws When Drinking Claws will be even more true this summer.

I don’t want to make myself sound old, but I remember the OG’s Four Loko’s. My first time getting absolutely hammered was at a house party, and there was 14 years old David slamming Four Loko’s. I think I was 3/4 of the way through one, and I was fucked up. I don’t think Surge will be like the OG Four Look, but the news of Surge had Four Loko trending on Twitter today.

Chet Hayes tried to declare that it would be White Boy Summer, but it’s going to be Fall Out Of The Boat Season. Do you know what would go well-drinking with Surge? A Seltzer Guy t shirt.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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