Being Super High After My Surgery

If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll know that I fucked up my knee all the way back in February. It was a stupid freak thing while ice skating, and my knee dislocated all the way to the other side. After 4 months, I finally got my surgery, and of course, my knee was more fucked up than they thought. First, I had to get a donor ligament screwed into my knee cap and then screwed into my leg bone. Then I guess my knee was floating in my leg, and they had to remove tissue from one side of my leg and add tissue to the other side. What does that mean? I have no idea, but I’ve been in a metric shit ton of pain. Drugs have been my best friend these last couple of days, and I’ve never been on drugs this strong, so oh boy, has it been kicking my ass.

I was out for a little over 3 hours, and then as soon I woke up, I was in so much pain that they gave me more drugs which knocked me right out. When I woke up in the recovery room, I was still high as fuck, and that’s all a big blur. Then all of a sudden, I was out of the hospital a couple of hours later and on my way home. This is where the stupid shit started flying out of my mouth.

I thought I was fucking Pete Davidson in the car cracking jokes like I was auditioning for Saturday Night Live. But, according to my wife, I guess my jokes weren’t the best and more mean than funny. None of the jokes were landing, and I remember I kept calling her Caca pants over and over again. Why? I have no idea, but god, did I think that Caca pants were the funniest shit known to mankind. I was ready for Will Ferrell to call me and cast me in Step Brothers 2.

Finally, I got home, and I melted into my chair. Well, I tried to fight going back to sleep, and I was saying whatever came to my mind. Well, after 10 minutes of shit flying out of my mouth, my wife got sick of it and told me to shut up. I then asked her if she a mind reader? Cause I wasn’t saying anything, I was thinking it, and how was she able to read my mind? I was asleep within 5 minutes after that.

Some other stupid shit that I’ve said is that I need to call Dan; Dan, the man needs to know what has happened. I haven’t talked to my friend Dan in months, and why did I need to talk to him right away? I have no idea. That’s all I can really remember from me saying stupid shit, but holy shit, the dreams I have been experiencing have been insane.

I don’t really remember any of the dreams, but I remember them being so realistic. I felt like I was living in my dreams, and everything was real. I have many months of recovery left, so I guarantee there will be more stupid shit that I say while high.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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