Being the First Friend Back From College

You spent the entire drive back from school fantasizing about “back-home beers” with the guys that send a picture of your promposal every six weeks to remind you that despite the fact that since getting to college you’ve become a moderately fun human being, you’re still an unbelievable pussy. After dropping your bags in your room and enjoying a meal with your parents, you fire out texts to the boys trying to find out where you’ll be forgetting everything you do that night, only to discover that you’re on your own for plans for the next six days. 

After discovering that your parents taste in alcohol is significantly better than your own and really taking advantage that fact by exploring the wonders of their liquor cabinet, you retire to the room that watched you soil countless tube socks to re-watch Rounders and convince yourself that if you just had enough capital, you could single-handedly take down Vegas.

The next few days are a blur of YouTube rabbit holes, 3pm wakeups, and the first meal of the day being dinner. You end up watching more movies and television than you did the entire semester simply to pass the time, and even then, it still feels like each day lasts for 36 hours. Weekend trips to your friends at local schools help, but your weekdays turn quickly into long and painful stretches of time in which you’re begging to stop being the only person who isn’t taking finals.

Slowly, one day at a time, the return begins. At first, it’s just one, but one turns to two, and two turns to three. Pretty soon, you forget about the incredible amounts of boredom you were suffering for a week and a half without anyone to hang out with, and a summer of borderline drinking problems can truly get started. Cheers.

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Written by TFM

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