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Bella Thorne: The Worst “model” On Onlyfans

Who likes porn? 

Everybody. 

Who likes FREE porn? 

Everybody. 

Who likes Bella Thorne? 

Fucking no one. 

With Pornhub removing all videos made by unverified accounts and effectively making the amateur category nonexistent, I had a lot of pent up anger and semen inside me that needed to be released ASAP. I then saw that Bella Thorne was trending on Twitter and figured I could kill two birds with one stone by… “looking into it”. What I found was yet another situation where a white girl sucked off more than she could swallow on the internet. But how does it compare to the Pornhub situation? What exactly did this Disney Chanel crackhead do? Why doesn’t my dad kiss me like he used to? All very good questions that I am going to answer right now with no sarcasm whatsoever.

The pornhub situation did remind me of an event that happened this past August that is getting a resurgence in hatred right now on Twitter, and rightfully so. Back in August, known stick figure and redhead anteater Bella Thorne felt especially brave to comment on the ONLY thing keeping her relevant in 2020, OnlyFans. Bella joined OnlyFans that very month and made 2 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS in just 1 WEEK. She was AND STILL IS the highest-paid “model” on OnlyFans. This sparked a large influx of washed-up actresses and girls on tik tok who just turned 18 to sign up for OnlyFans and get their rightfully earned 2 million I have a vagina so give me money dollars. My issue isn’t that she made a lot of money, it’s that she made a lot of money posting fucking garbage and defended it.

Now a lot of people in 2020 still don’t know that OnlyFans is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from porn. Yes, you can post pornographic material, but It’s mainly a collection of content made by the creator that would be deemed R-rated or inappropriate for mainstream social media. It doesn’t have to be a straight-up pussy pic or a documentary about your tits, but there is an implication that what will be posted, especially if it’s a paid subscription, is somewhat lewd. That was the issue with Bella. None of her photos or videos at this time had ANY semblance of lewdness. On top of that, her OnlyFans was $20… that means you had to pay 20 fucking dollars to see this deflated circus clown brush her teeth or eat a fucking carrot. 

Social media pointed this out to Bella and she, after counting my dad’s 20 bucks, tried to correct the issue. She then offered a $200 pay-per-view photo in which she claimed she was nude. Of course, she wasn’t nude so she scammed white knights around the world for 10 times the amount their semen covered debit card already paid for. She then very incorrectly states that she pioneered this OnlyFans revolution even though the OnlyFans wave has been huge for the past 3 years. Here is the exact picture and quote:

I will not speak to Bella directly because this makes me very angry. Shut the fuck up you anorexic candy cane. Do you really want to take credit for this? Do you really think you popularized OnlyFans? You didn’t make OnlyFans popular, some insecure white girl from University of Miami did. She probably sent a bikini photo to one of those Instagram accounts that only posts photos of hot girls with daddy issues, saw a comment asking “OnyFans?”, bought a ring light, and went to work disappointing her family. You actually think that you are solely responsible for everyone (including celebrities) for being on OnlyFans. So many other celebrities have been on OnlyFans at this point, and actually making good fucking content. You force people to pay 20 real American dollars just to see a video of you walking your bitch ass dog or making scrambled eggs. (side note, her dog’s name is Tampon and it’s the ONLY thing about Bella Thorne that I don’t immediately hate because that’s fucking hilarious). How dare you say you “took the hit”. You didn’t take the hit. The only hit you took is a slap in the face from Zendya after you two scissor fuck on top of that Shake It Up money. You are shiting on every single person that uses OnlyFans as their source of income by tainting it with your unviewable red-haired snatch…


In conclusion, I have come around on OnlyFans. I used to think it was just a place for white girls to show their tits and make some cash, but I now know that it’s a lot more complicated. People put in a lot of time and work to make good content that their fans would enjoy, which is why it bugs me that Bella Thorne can make money posting shit that I could see for free. I’ve actually talked to pornstars on my podcast about OnlyFans and they are somewhat in support of it. I just think that what Bella did was a piece of shit move by basically abusing her fans into giving away their rent money to see her do menial tasks and claim that she is some sort of pioneer.

What do you think?

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Written by Conall Lynch

Conall drinks vodka and chases it with a Granny Smith Apple. He likes to say “the mustache is just for content” but deep down wants to keep it.

5 Comments

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  1. I agree kind sir a lot of brave and loyal white knights have reached out to me to share their support for the cause. I can’t tell you where or when but we will be gathering soon in protest to make sure nobody else is ever treated like this ever again. We will also be starting a group onlyfans to prove that we can do it better than that redhaired wench so I will need a headshot and your PayPal. Also just to be safe some feet pics.

    And a bible

  2. I saw some sort of way you can get compensated for reporting big OnlyFan-ers to the IRS to be audited. The Gubment wants that sticky money. It’s already started happening lol “WHO REPORTED ME TO THE IRS I’M BEING AUDITED”

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