in

Ben Askren Looks Like A Pile Of Mashed Potatoes, And We Really Think He Can Knock Out Jake Paul?

I know that Ben Askern is an Olympic wrestler and has a 19-2 record in the UFC, but seriously this is who we hope will knock out Jake Paul? This man looks like every super senior after a long weekend of drinking. This isn’t the body of an athlete; this is the body of the 40-year-old who is buying a 30 rack in your local grocery shop while wearing his varsity jacket. The jacket, of course, doesn’t fit him anymore as it can’t be zipped, but he wears it anyway to show the locals that he was once hot shit.

It’s very easy to hate on Jake Paul, and I’m not going to lie that I wish he would get knocked the fuck out, but looking at these two bodies, I have to give a clear advantage to Paul. This is the bus test but at a weigh-in. When I played basketball, we would watch the other team get off their bus at home games. We would stare down every kid, and as long as there wasn’t a 7 footer and people built like Miami LeBron James, we thought we could win.

It’s not only me who doesn’t have faith in Askren; Vegas also agrees. As of right now, Jake Paul is the favorite at -192. Now, this doesn’t tell the whole story. I imagine that most people who are betting are Paul fans and not real boxing fans. These people will keep driving Paul to be the favorite as more bets come in on him. Regardless of who wins, more YouTube fights like this, especially after seeing these paydays. Shit, I’ll go in the ring and get my face busted in by a Paul brother for $500,000.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Stretching a Dollar in College

Everybody Watch Out. The Celtics Are Going To Win Every Game After Signing Jabari Parker