Tell The Girl He’s Talking to He Has Hemorrhoids
This is great in two ways: it signals to the girl he’s talking to that he bleeds from his anus and also tells her that his turds are so massive that they rip up his rectum on the way out. She’ll be constantly looking over at him when he sits down, waiting to see him wince in pain or go for a sneaky scratch of his butthole. Better yet? The only way he can prove that he doesn’t have one is by bending over and spreading his cheeks.
Start a Microphallus Awareness Social Media Page Run by Him
This one is a bit more elaborate, but it’s worth it if you can pull it off. Start a page on Instagram or Facebook that’s message is to bring awareness to guys that are living with incredibly small parts of their nether regions. Come up with a backstory that details his journey with a microphallus and set a picture of him as the profile. Everyone will think that he’s not only living with a tiny taliwhacker, but they’ll also think he’s proud of it! Hilarious.
Pants Him in Public
Childish? Sure. Unbelievably funny? Absolutely. The more people that are around, the better. Just encourage him to wear the lucky pair of underwear that should’ve been thrown away years ago, and when the opportunity comes, strike. Grab hold of his trousers and yank them to the ground. Everyone will see his hole-filled, stained boxers, and he’ll be humiliated. LOL!
Make an Embarrassing Picture His Computer Screen Before a PresentationHas this guy been working all semester on a big presentation worth 50% of his grade? Does he have a really important pitch at work that his job depends on? Then it’s time to change his laptop screensaver to that picture of him wearing a bikini for a joke way back in high school. Everyone in his audience will see it, and he will be absolutely mortified! What an idiot! What a loser!