Grease the poles Philly. The hardest out in baseball is back in the lineup for the Phillies this Tuesday after being cleared by a doctor today. After receiving Tommy John surgery in the offseason for his torn UCL, Harper was projected to be out until the midpoint of the season. For Philadelphia fans like myself, his early return is the type of thing that gets blood flowing into your underwear. Bryce Harper has provided me with some of my fondest memories over the past year, and the idea of him smashing a 440-foot home run tomorrow has already improved the quality of my week by a lot.
Bryce Harper should be everyone’s role model. The guy came into the league as a cocky 19-year-old and started hitting missiles off of grown men throwing 100 miles per hour. He became a villain, matured a ton and then collected an absolute bag from the Phillies. He’s also an incredibly handsome, rich, Mormon man who has –wait for it– one wife. There’s no doubt in my mind this guy could be married to the entire Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition if he wanted to, but he doesn’t you know why. Because Bryce Harper is good people.
The news of his return is good news for baseball fans everywhere, except New York, where Mets fans are still holding back tears listening to Edwin Diaz’s walkout song for the 300th time. Him coming back this early will make the NL East even more competitive than it already was. Maybe I’m biased as a Phillies fan, but I think everyone who plays for the Mets and Braves are pieces of human garbage and Bryce Harper coming back will stop them from achieving any real success this season. That could be a bit presumptuous, but also, Bryce Harper is better at baseball than anyone else is at their job, so I think it’s a fair statement.
