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Celebrities That I Imagine Poop the Most

Celebrities are people, too. That means they have to poop just like everyone else. Here’s a list of the ones I think poop the most.

Shaq

Shaq may not take more poops than the average guy, but by his stature, I’d argue that he’s taking dumps the size of my left leg. I’d estimate the weight of his yearly fecal output is about the same as the annual weight of cocaine seized at the US/Mexico border. This dude definitely be poopin’.

Pete Davidson

As much as Pete Davidson has become the posterboy of guys getting girls way out of their leagues, I think his image would be better used as the face of men living with IBS. There’s absolutely no way that guy can handle more than a spoonful of Ben and Jerry’s without sharting almost immediately.

Kristen Stewart

Every single time I’ve ever seen a picture or interview with Kristen Stewart, she wears an expression on her face that tells anyone who’s ever been on the brink of crapping themselves that she’s one aggressive sneeze away from painting her panties brown. 

Joey Chestnut

In my sophomore year of college, I ate about eight hotdogs in an hour and a half. Given Joey Chestnut’s profession and the aftermath of my own experience gobbling lots of glizzies, I can almost guarantee that man takes a sit down on the toilet at least six times a day.

Kim Kardashian

A lot of people will tell you that Kim K’s ass is so big due to a BBL or something like that. I have a different theory: her butt muscles have become so incredibly big and strong because she uses it for sex tapes and shitting.

George Kittle

George Kittle? More like George Shittle.

Seth Rogen

Anyone that smokes a ton of weed also eats a lot, which means that Seth Rogen must be shoveling food down his hole like a starving African child. Combine that with the plethora of poop jokes he’s made in his movies, and I think he’s pretty much screaming at us that he taks lots of dumps.

Michelle Obama

Rumor has it that if it weren’t for the fact that she was constantly blowing up the nearest toilet, she would’ve run for President instead of Barack.

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Written by TFM

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