Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new hero. Celebrity Chef John Mountain banned vegans from eating at his restaurant in Perth, Australia called “Fyre.” As someone who hates vegans with a burning passion, this was one of the best headlines I’ve seen in a long time.
The story goes like this: Mountain received a message from a future patron at his restaurant who happened to be vegan. Mountain told the vegan that he would be able to prepare vegetables and gnocchi, but he had forgotten that he had a catering gig. When this grass eater showed up at the restaurant, the only thing to eat was the vegetable dish, which the customer said was not very filling and cost $32. “My only option was the vegetable dish… it was okay but not that filling… and I was shocked to see it was $32.”
The patron also said, “If you don’t get with the times, I don’t hold out faith that your restaurant will be the one that does. I think it’s incredibly important nowadays that restaurants can accommodate everyone and to not be able to have actual plant-based meals shows your shortcomings as a chef.”
Mountain was not a fan of all that. He said on the news, “F*ck vegans – I’m done with them,” before posting this hilarious message on Fyre’s Facebook page:
On behalf of all people who hate hearing about what we all need to do to make vegans feel more comfortable and that nonsense, I’d like to offer my sincere praise to John Mountain. As he said, “I understand where vegans are coming from but my job is to make food taste as good as I can and I can’t always cater to everybody’s dietary requirements.”
In short, if you don’t like the food, eat somewhere else. It’s your fault that your diet is stupid. Screw you, vegans. You guys really suck. That’s all I have on this matter. Time to enjoy some meats and dairy products.