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#ClassicTFM, A History Pt 1: Overview

This story, like my dong, is a long and curious one, worthy of being viewed and shared by many people of appropriate age.  Although if the numbers for my recent female conquests are any indication, it won’t be too many. (Side note: the numbers for my #ClassicTFM pieces were really good, but we will get to that some other time).

Regardless! I feel it is my duty as the Great White sage of this group to help this next generation understand what came before, make sure they don’t repeat the same mistakes, and hope they might be inspired to achieve more. For while I do appreciate and admire all our esteemed Mailman’s efforts, I DID go to college, I AM in a fraternity, I was ALSO part of and indeed helped shape #ClassicTFM’s community as a commentor and sporatic member of its volunteer authorship and I beleive I can help make new TFM great alongside him and members of a new community.  Everyone here now has something great to offer, but TFM was great, and grew the way it did, because of its community and it should be that way again or it won’t go anywhere. 

It’s possible some of you are familiar with FML (Fuck My Life).  A quick Google search tells me it’s still around.  The premise is that you submit your one or two sentence story that makes you want to say “Ahh, fuck my life!” then add FML.  People can click the thumbs up (Yeah your life is fucked) or thumbs down (You deserved it), and comment. 

It was around before TFM so I’m sure the original creators saw it and said “Let’s do that but with FRAT!”  Who knows how big their plans were from the beginning, but in terms of execution in May of 2010 that was all there was to TotalFratMove: submitting, and reading Frat Moves from other bros (a word used 75% ironically by some and genuinely despised by others at the time) around the country. 

Thus, it was nearly all user generated content.  It was simply filtered and published by the creators. 

“Putting in the least effort but receiving all the credit. TFM”

Eventually they did add a “Photos and Vids” (which later got their own respective sections), and “Columns” (later called Articles) section.  For a while there was even an unregulated “Discussions” tab (later called Forum).  But that QUICKLY got out of hand and was shut down. 

The general flavor of very early TFM was about being rich, preppy, conservative, rich, wearing certain clothes and sunglasses, having an AmEx Black card, being rich, having sex, hating GDI’s, having money, hazing pledges, having financial or familial ties to Big Oil, feeling patriotic, and being rich.  All of this is available for first hand research/enjoyment in the archive. May 2010 is the earliest it goes.  Go check it out.  

There were several apps released over the years including a Flappy Bird knockoff, a Greek Alphabet game, and an app for navigating the site’s content: a TFM app.  Rowdy Gentleman was an entire clothing line that came out.  There was a live day event, Day Rage in Austin, TX in 2012. A TFM Novel released in 2013 and a TotalFratMovie in 2016.  Maybe we will get to those in more detail… maybe we won’t.

Classic slang (part 1):

TFM- a Total Frat Move, something that is very frat to do/that you did/that happened

Faf- Frat as fuck (pronounced phonetically; rhymes with laugh)

NF- Not Frat

TFTC- too frat to care

Sorostitute- sorority member (not overtly derotigory, some females referred to themselves as sorostitutes when committing TSM’s)

slam piece- girl you have sex with

Frahoe- Chevy Tahoe

hazement- area used for hazing, generally the basement

RFM- Real Frat Move: a counter movement to the rowdy, sly, crass, drug-fueled, and or sexual TFM. The RFM is classy, gentlemanly, polite, kind, and/or demonstrative of the virtues that a fraternity claims to uphold.

Any other number of puns involving BRO, FRAT just FRA/FR might have been used at any time on a short term or one time basis.  You might where a BroTie, or BroatShoes; grill out on the fratio; take a slam back to the frat castle; play intramural softball and knock one out of the frark if you were really reaching. 

These weren’t things anyone in real life actually said out loud unless referencing the site.  It was all self-contained, insular vernacular.

Now, just some pics of how it used to look including layout with the sailboats, Rowdy Gentleman, as well as “Forum” and “Discussions.”


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    • I had a vision that I left “Jerry Fratdusky” out of that list of puns while I was asleep. Must have been while you were typing that. Woah.

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