Come on Ime

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Why me God, why must you punish me? I promise I won’t look at myself anymore in the gym bathroom after a workout. I swear I’ll quit anything right now, anything, just let the Celtics have one full-strength season. 

As I’m sure many of you now know Ime Udoka appears to have been suspended for the entire 2022-2023 season. I won’t pretend to know all (or any) of the facts about how the relationship was, however, the claim right now is that Ime had a “consensual workplace relationship” with a co-worker. And like, really dude? You’re currently married to Nia fucking Long. And you have a son. Was she really worth it? Especially off the back of a lowkey miracle championship run, with all of the momentum and signings that you need to win a Championship this year. And you put it all on the line for a co-worker? 

I swear the Celtics just don’t get nice things. Every year we are always so close, and yet some stupid shit happens and we become so far. I just want one season where Timelord’s knees don’t explode, Ime keeps it in his pants, and Jayson Tatum shuts the fuck up about how much he loves Kobe. Is that too much to ask?

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Written by Warren Loukota

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