Cyberpunk 2077: The Futuristic Game That Has No Future

Jesus… this game… Cyberpunk 2077 is a video game that has been in development by CD Projekt for 8 YEARS. For those that don’t know video games let me put it to you this way…That’s a long fucking time. It was advertised as a futuristic steampunk orgy with Keanu Reeves but, just like we thought quarantine was only going to be 2 weeks, things got a whole lot worse.

Cyberpunk was finally released last week and was met with major backlash and uproar from broke last-gen console owners and idiots who don’t research before they buy a game. Because of this, the developer has already apologized more times than a weak comedian on Twitter. Players on the Xbox One and PS4 witnessed constant glitches, bugs, and frequent crashing. All versions of the game had issues, including PC. Even if your computer could fucking time travel you’d still encounter enough bugs to be saying “what the fuck was that?” every 5 minutes. Late afternoon yesterday, Sony issued an apology for all the bugs on Twitter and said “if you are not pleased with the game on your console and don’t want to wait for updates, you can opt to refund your copy.” 

That’s right. That’s how bad this piece of shit was. The makers of this game released a statement apologizing for their pile of shit that’s been steaming under a lamp for 8 years and told players to get a refund. And they couldn’t even do that. Countless people that bought the game digitally on the PlayStation store were not getting refunds due to Playstation’s extremely stingy refund policy. It got so bad that they REMOVED the game entirely from the PlayStation store making it not only not buyable, but nonexistent. And, like my 3 alcohol violations that I should have gotten freshman year, there’s not a single shred of evidence that this shit ever existed.

Now flash forward about 5 hours later and the developer issues another apology stating they are “working hard to bring Cyberpunk back to the PlayStation store as soon as possible”.

Now I’m not good at most things, I get things wrong pretty frequently (as some of you will point out to me after reading this), but if you gave me 8 YEARS to make a video game… I could probably do it. I took a computer science class in high school and I think I still have an old Python coding book my mom bought when she found out I knew what an HDMI cable was. I could dust that off and take a shit better than this game.

This whole situation doesn’t surprise me though. This game was not meant for last-gen consoles. It probably was in its early development, early as in like 4 years ago, but got scrapped to focus on next-gen functionality or some other game development thing that I don’t know about. Every game nowadays has its post-launch problems and backlash, from Fallout 76 to the infamous No Man’s Sky debacle. But to think a developer this big a staple in the video game community had us on the fishing line and dragged us behind a boat for 8 years only for the game to be basically unplayable to a large percentage of its audience is appalling. If I had to guess, I think they are going to completely scrap the promise of working on the last-gen consoles and focus on the, still very buggy current-gen and PC versions. 

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