Dear Freshmen: Living on Campus

Dear Freshmen,

I’m currently in my third year of college, and in that time, I’ve amassed a crazy amount knowledge that is only useful to people during the four years they’ll spend exploring various levels of degeneracy. First lesson: get the fuck off campus.

Rules vary based on where you go to school, but for the most part, you’re going to have the opportunity to live off campus your sophomore year. Take it. I absolutely loved every second of living in the dorms my freshman year, but the second sophomore year came around and my dumb ass was stuck in a suite on campus, I regretted the time my roommates and I wasted figuring out where to live off campus. It doesn’t matter if it’s the biggest shithole apartment on campus or if it’s the nicest place you can find, it will always be better than staying in a dorm.

Most of the people that like to have fun in college move out of dorms after freshman year, so you’ll end up surrounded by a bunch of dorks who think that the best time to study is 10:30pm on a Friday night. RAs become even douchier, your neighbors will call campus police the second they hear someone turn music on, and alcohol will still be prohibited, meaning that it’s just as much of a pain to smuggle in a thirty rack as it was when you first got to school.

Off campus houses are surrounded by neighbors who are also partying until four in the morning, police officers that are more concerned with the kid who stole a stoplight than the music blaring from your basement, and it’s almost always cheaper to rent an apartment rather than stay in a dorm.

The biggest piece of advice for any freshman is to get the hell off campus. If you care about having any kind of fun after your freshman year, it’s the only thing to do.

Sincerely,

VinegarStrokes