This week, I’d like to talk to you guys about your best friend, as you can probably guess from the title of this letter, but more specifically why you feel that absolutely anything can be shared with her. I’m no stranger to telling my boys some secretive stuff, but I feel like I was always pretty good about knowing where the line was. I cannot say the same for you all.
Now before you sit up on your high horse and say that what I’m saying isn’t true, I’m going to have to put it out there that I have hard evidence of this happening. I have had two girlfriends, and both of them spilled pretty much everything I told them not to tell anyone to their best friend just about as soon as they could. “How do you know it was her spilling the beans? It could have been someone else,” you may be thinking. I know because my only two ex-girlfriends happen to be best friends (for the fellas: that’s right, I pulled it off), so there were many things that I told the second one that she apparently had already heard from the first. The fuck is that about?
Honestly, I do get the desire to tell your friends stuff. I really do. Having a juicy bit of information and dropping that bomb to blow people’s minds is a really great feeling, but Jesus Christ, have some restraint. Of course you can tell her most things because guys don’t expect every single detail of a relationship to be top secret. But fuck, if we say not to tell your friends, we probably have a good reason for it. That’s not to mention the fact that if we drop any information we weren’t supposed to, it’s as if we picked up your dog and drop kicked it off a bridge Jack Black-in-Anchorman-style.
I guess I really just want to know why it’s so difficult to not share every single detail of every facet of your life with your best friend, especially since we all know that when the break-up happens every bit of drama is going to get exposed anyway. Can you not just wait?
Anyway. That’s all I have for today, so I guess it’s time to go tell your best friend how much you hate me or whatever it is you guys do.