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Dear Women: Weiner Size

Dear Women,

This is the big one. This is the one many of the other men having been telling me to ask about. It’s been asked a thousand times before, but we all hear different answers and different reasoning, which leads us to believe that some of you are lying. We don’t know which ones, but as a special favor to your good friend Strokes, I ask that you be honest with us.

You have to understand that from about the time we can talk, insults fly around amongst men about the size of our dicks. We start watching porn and see just exactly what a real big weiner looks like, but it will never stop us from telling our closest and dearest friends that they have the smallest weiner known to man. Personally, I think maturity in a male can be defined as the time that one stops making small weiner jokes about others and turns the jokes on himself. This usually happens sometime late in high school or early in college, but don’t let the recognition and acceptance fool you, ladies. We still want to know.

We hear girls insult guys, saying they must have small dicks. We hear other girls talk about the lucky few of us who are well-endowed, saying how amazing it is. But then there’s some of you out there that tell people that size doesn’t matter, that some are too big, or that it’s all about “the motion of the ocean.” You can see that as a group, we’re confused. We don’t know whether we’re safe with less than impressive boners or if we’re secretly the conversation at the nail salon (I’m assuming that’s where all of your meetings take place, but I admit further research may be needed on that one). 

Well, it’s time to answer. Time to be honest. The boys want to know. 

Does size matter? 

Love,

VinegarStrokes

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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