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Disney Channel Sitcoms: It’s Always Sunny

TITLE CARD: 1:30 PM; On a Wednesday; Philadelphia, PA

A calm day at Paddy’s Pub. There is no one in the bar, except for two of the owners, Mac and Dennis. Mac sits at the front of bar, having a conversation with Dennis, who stands behind it and pours himself a beer. Mac is eating a corn dog. Dee enters. She wears a colorful hat with a propeller on it.

Dee: Hey losers?

*laugh track*

Mac: What’s up with the hat Dee? Are you flying somewhere?

Dennis: I thought birds could already fly.

*laugh track*

Dee: I’m just trying a new look. Lay off guys. 

Mac: Why, so you can have room for lift off?

*a laugh track so big you can hear a father of three choking in the live studio audience*

Mac and Dennis share a look of approval with each other. They take pride in their incredible comedic chops. Dee sits down next to Mac. She rolls her eyes and makes a look that lets the audience know, these guys are trouble.

*laugh track*

Dee looks at Mac.

Dee: Corndog?

Mac: Corndog.

*laugh track*

The front door to the bar swings open. Frank leads, holding a Tupperware in his hand. Charlie follows. He too is holding a corndog. They are arguing about something. 

Charlie: No way man, it couldn’t have been me.

Frank: Well, it wasn’t me. So do you think we had a poop robber.

*laugh track*

Charlie: No, I’m saying that you’re a liar dude.

He is about to say more but he is distracted when he approaches the gang at the bar and makes eye contact with Mac. 

Charlie: Corndog?

Mac: Corndog.

*laugh track*

Dennis: Hold up here guys. Who is the poop robber?

*laugh track*

Frank: It’s Charlie.

Charlie makes a silly face. Isn’t Frank such a handful?

Charlie: No way man. Someone pooped our bed. Neither of us think it was us, but it was one of us.

Dennis: Dee, you might want to switch that helicopter hat for a detective hat.

Dennis pauses to look around the room. The rest of the gang watches on in anticipation.

Dennis: We’ve got a mystery on our hands.

THEME SONG: Elton John’s “Philadelphia Freedom” plays to clips that show the five of them in wacky situations. This includes: a keg exploding and getting them all wet while they laugh; Mac and Charlie looking proud while they teach Frank to ride a bike; Dennis and Dee are hanging a painting, and Dee hands Dennis the wrong end of a hammer which forces Dennis to give her a silly look. At the end of this sequence the title appears.

Who Pooped the Bed?

This is followed by a quick commercial break, kicked off by Danny Devito waving a wand and saying, “You’re watching It’s Always Sunny on Disney Channel.”

Derek Beavers

Written by Derek Beavers

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