in

Do You Believe That Soccer Star Mauro Icardi And His Wife Have Sex TWELVE Times A Day???

The Sun

I know almost nothing about soccer. I can tell you who Neymar, Messi, and Ronaldo are, and that’s about it. I don’t follow the 13 thousand leagues they have and try to figure out what’s happening because I have no idea. But when I see a story like this, I have to blog it, regardless if I’ve never heard of the player. Shit, I would blog about this if it was some random Florida man. This sounds like something you would hear at the 9th-grade lunch table. That one friend who had a girlfriend would lie through their teeth as they told you how many times they had sex when in reality, he had just felt her boob for the first time.

I don’t care who you are TWELVE times in one day is impossible. I can believe four times, but even after that, you’re in pain, you have to worry about injury, and it’s just not fun anymore. Your dick starts to feel like it’s been rubbed with sandpaper, and you want to take a nap. By the time you have cum 12 times, what is coming out just dust?

I understand that this man is married to a smoke show, but what kind of motivational speech do you have to give your penis to perform the 12th time that day. I don’t think the motivational speech from Miracle would make it grow.

How do you have time to live if you’re doing it 12 times a day. This man has to go to soccer practice, shopping to be done, and food to be made. Wait, what am I talking about? There’s no way they cook or clean for themselves, but still. Wanda and Mauro have two kids. How is it possible to sneak away 12 times during a day? Unless they don’t get any sleep, and they have sex for 8 straight hours throughout the night. It’s hard enough for me to take a shit in peace, and I couldn’t imagine sneaking away 12 times to have sex with my wife everyday.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

To comment create an account and confirm your email.

Loading…

0

Five People I F*cking Hate

Coors Light Is Giving Away Free Beer For Your Shit