Don’t Hit a Vape After a Bar Send

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Customers wait in line to enter a cocktail bar in central London, UK, on Friday, Sept. 30, 2022. UK retailers are facing a mortgage time bomb, with rising interest rates set to have twice the impact on consumer finances as the recent surge in utility bills, according to a Deutsche Bank analyst. Photographer: Jose Sarmento Matos/Bloomberg via Getty Images

This story is very ironic given that I had a blog last week talking about how you should stop vaping. Well, this can be considered an informational story on why you should quit. This story takes place about a year or so ago. At my college, the bar sends for college students are always on Thursday nights. Kind of stupid in my opinion but, whoever thought bar sends on Thursdays was a good idea was clearly an alcoholic wanting to start their bender a day early. This week was different though. My girl and I had just ended things the day before this bar send. If anyone has been in a similar situation, you know that the first thing you want to do is black out. Or at least I hope someone out there can agree with me (I probably have a severe drinking problem). It was indeed tough times, so I did what I knew best and surrounded myself with the boys. The fuckin boys. I don’t know if you have been through a break up, but for me, I lose my appetite. I could go a whole day without food and you could put a box of Costco pizza in front of me and I’ll have two bites of that mother fucker and be full as hell. You might be able to see where this is going. At the pregame, we pregamed like no other. The boys knew what I was going through. Between the purchasing of the booze and the drunken talks we had, they helped me out a lot. However, this pregame was nuts. Im talking three bottles of whipped cream Burnette’s, two bottles of Casamigos, racks and racks of beer, and enough White Claws to kill a kangaroo. This was going to be heinous. And, of course, it was worse than I thought.

The last thing I remember was getting to the bars and realizing that I was way too fucked up to be there. Because my relationship had just ended, no girl was looking attractive to me and I was not looking for anything or anyone that night. The actual last thing I remember was someone buying me a shot and then, BOOM, black. The rest of the story I am telling was what my friends told me the morning after. After the first bar we went to the another one, where in the line I almost got in a fight with four other guys. I, allegedly, yelled out to the four guys, “have you guys ever thought of going out with attractive girls? Or are you just into all the fat ones?” This was obviously out of pocket and my friends quickly defused the situation. But, apparently I was inches away from getting my ass handed to me. At our last bar, I got to the point where I didn’t even know English. I was speaking in Braille and gibberish. The bouncer didn’t even let me step through the door. Apparently I was super pissed off and I was able to cuss him out in some sort of braille/English hybrid language I had made up. It had all my friends in tears. Glad I could at least make them after a nightmare of a night. The ride home is where the story gets even worse. We are probably 2 blocks away from my house when I ask our designated driver if I could hit his vape. He says yes, I guess not realizing how fucked up I was, and I went to town. I was just straight inhaling and exhaling this vape like you have never seen. We get to my house and as I am on cloud 9 from this vape I stand up way to fast and have this weird double rush going. As I am standing up I lose my balance and go face first into the pavement. I wake up to my face burning and my head pounding like I have never seen. I look in the mirror and see my face is absolutely fucked up. Scratches all across my cheek, chin, forehead, and nose. My shit was fucked up. Since I had no recollection from the night before, I assumed I got my ass kicked and or something. I start calling everyone to see what happened, but only the DD was the one that knew. So there you have it. If thats not a story to convince you to quit vaping, I don’t know what is.

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