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Drake’s Hot Sauce P*ssy

“It was like pouring hot lava into my pussy” 

You’ve probably heard by now about Drakes’s favorite form of birth control for a hot, spicy night of sex.

This Instagram model’s vajayjay is burning but for different reasons than you think.

For those who haven’t heard, Drake had consensual (hate that we have to clarify that) sex with an unnamed Instagram model. When the deed was done, he waddled himself to the bathroom, condom on (hot). He tied the condom like a hot air balloon and threw it out. Later… our Instagram girl boss went into the bathroom and fished the condom out of the trash. She untied the condom (dying to know how she did that with nails), put the condom with the semen to her puss. Drake had put hot sauce in the condom to kill his sperm. She said it felt like “pouring hot lava into her pussy.” She is threatening to sue…. for trying to impregnate herself without consent….

Like how did she not see that there was hot sauce in the condom? Was the semen not… Red?

Like in what world is semen red? She could’ve been on her period since she isn’t on birth control (obvi), but I have a hard time believing that. If a man is reading this, let me explain….

1 – No way she was bleeding enough to make his sperm red.  

2 – You get ONE night with Drake. One. Night. I would plan around the period… if possible.

3 – The consistency/ color. Period blood can be brown. It can be watery or have blood clots. I don’t think the hot sauce would look the same.

Not to be gross but like…. sis. You should know your period blood like the back of your hand. 

Now I did see there is clear hot sauce. The fact that there is a market for clear hot sauce… what the fuck. Where do you buy this? Do you keep it on a keychain? Is travel size? What if you forget it? Is this a regular thing Drake does? Maybe he seasons pussy with the hot sauce?

It sounds crazy except for the fact that Drake was right. She DID try to impregnate herself without his consent (switching gender roles. YAS queen). 

Being a celebrity looks amazing until you hear these stories. Not only do you have to wear a condom (booo no fun), but you also have to put hot sauce in the condom. I’m surprised this girl didn’t have to sign an NDA just to hook up with Drake(mood killer). I respect her hustle. Sometimes you get 18 years of child support, sometimes you get burned :,/

Written by Sofía Viagra

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