Drunk Moron Tries to Pawn DUI Off on His Dog

In Springfield, Colorado, a man was pulled over for speeding, and after stopping, the officer watched him maneuver around in the car before coming out of the passenger side. Evidently, he decided that he was going to try the old switcheroo and put his dog in the driver’s seat. Police say that he was clearly drunk, and when he was asked to take a sobriety test, he made a run for it. Unfortunately for that guy, he didn’t have the speed and agility that his canine counterpart does, so he only made it about twenty yards before being caught, tackled, and arrested.

As stupid as his plan was, you’ve gotta respect the guy’s commitment. I don’t think I’d ever come up with the idea to pretend that my dog was driving a car in order to avoid a DUI – that’s just some good, old fashioned outside of the box thinking right there. He didn’t back down either, as reports say that he told police he wasn’t driving the car. “Opposable thumbs be damned,” I imagine the man said, “that pup is my personal Uber driver.”

In a shock to absolutely no one, the police didn’t buy the story and quickly took the unnamed driver to prison, where he will face time for driving under the influence, resisting arrest, and speeding. There doesn’t seem to be a law that prohibits someone from trying to pass his drunk driving off on his dog, but I kind of feel like we should implement a “general idiocy and stupidity” law to cover that kind of thing.

The good news, though? Police reported that, “The dog does not face any charges and was let go with just a warning.”

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Written by TFM

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