Stop. Stop what you’re doing right now because today is the day. It’s the day we’ve all been waiting for. Three hundred sixty-five days. Fifty-two weeks. Twelve months. We’ve had time to prepare. You’ve been taking pictures of sunsets, hikes, the beach, rainy days and rainbows – you name it, we’re ready. Now is the time. Every single one of your Instagram follows has been waiting all day for you to post your nature photos. They’re quite literally holding back screams in pure anticipation to see what you have to post. Don’t keep them waiting. Put one, two, three, seven, twenty-five stories up. The more the better. No one wants to miss it. Trust me.
That, for my smoother-brained readers who aren’t quite with it, was a little thing called sarcasm. Pure, mean, unfiltered sarcasm because do you know what the reality of the situation is? There isn’t one rationally thinking person who gives one iota of a fuck about the hike you went on four months ago nor the picture you took from your backyard of the pretty pink sky. I’m just fucking giddy that you got to pretend to be a professional photographer, but please, spare us having to look at your “work” because I seriously don’t care even a little bit.
I guess you can just chalk this up to another Instagram trend I’m not a fan of, but I don’t think for a second that I’m the only one. Actually, I know I’m not the other one. In all honesty, I was under the impression that yesterday was Earth Day for a little bit, and when I realized that my feed and been absolutely dominated by people forcing their garbage attempts at some kind of modern art pictures down my throat, I almost jumped out of my chair in joy. Sadly, though, today is Earth Day. Not yesterday. Which means that I have an entire day of white girl Instagram story pollution to look forward to. Great.
On the off chance that you are considering joining in on this trend but haven’t yet, here’s a sign from the powers above: don’t do it. Stop the Instagram feed pollution. I know that it seems like there’s no point in trying to, but each person has the ability to make a difference. Sure, there’s still going to be feed pollution even if you don’t join in, but everyone doing their part can make a difference. I promise. One day, we’ll live in a world where clicking through seventeen new stories every thirty minutes doesn’t exist. There is a way to stop Instagram feed pollution, but it takes all of us – see what I did there?
