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EDP445: Pedophile

Ladies and gentlemen, it breaks my heart to deliver such terrible news on this such an amazing holiday, but I had to get this out there. EDP has been caught in 4-FUCKING-K. That man needs to go to prison. 

For anyone unfamiliar with EDP, he’s got 2.1 million subscribers on YouTube, and he got famous for being one of the most ridiculous Eagles fans on the planet. He started putting out content about ten years ago, and he’s been picking up fame ever since with rants about my beloved Birds along with other videos, like the one where he declared that masturbation is in fact a sport. He’s been used in countless Snapchat stories when the Eagles are getting buttfucked, and I personally have seen this video at least one hundred times in the past five years:

But that’s going to end now. The dude’s an absolute fucking creep. He’s been accused before, but this time he was really caught. There’s documented evidence of him saying absolutely disgusting things to a girl he believed to be fourteen years old. He told her that she couldn’t join his livestream because of her age, but he proceeded to say explicitly sexual things to her. He told her that he jerked off while texting her, sent pictures to her of the porn he was watching, and worst of all, he sent pictures of his dick with a sex toy and a video of him… climaxing. As if all of that isn’t bad enough, the guy was actually delusional enough to think that he should meet up with this girl. When the decoy girl said that her mother and grandmother would be out for a couple hours, he said that he would go meet her so he could, “fuck her innocence away.” Then the dude went out to go have sex with a girl he believed to be fourteen fucking years old. FOURTEEN! He’s fucking THIRTY. I mean, thank god it was a decoy. The thought of that man having sex in general is gross, but the fact that he was ready to go after a fourteen-year-old is just sickening. From the way he talks in his videos, though, I’m starting to realize that we all should’ve seen this coming way sooner. Just take a look at this shit:

If that’s not someone that’s going to be an absolute menace to society, I don’t know who is. In a matter of days, he’s gone from an internet legend to your average pedophile. That fat shit needs to go to jail before he has the chance to actually rape a minor. After seeing everything he’s done, I’m ready to delete the Cameo that my friend got for us from him. When he showed up to two grown men instead of a young girl, he himself said he belongs in jail:

I don’t even know anymore. It’s awful to see that someone I used to love so much could be such an absolute dirtball, but I’m glad that motherfucker has finally been caught. If anyone wants to see the full two-hour video detailing the scumbag shit he did, you can find it here

Update: the video of his confrontation has been released. Here is the link.


With that, I’ll leave you all. Enjoy your celebrations, and happy holidaze!

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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