I don’t know about you guys, but I think the LeBron vs. Jordan debate is so tired. Both of these guys have had unbelievable careers, and one of them hasn’t been a historic loser in the finals. Despite this, people go on forever about who is the best. Some annoying people even say Wilt Chamberlain (you know who you are). Today, I’m going to give you five debates that are better than LeBron vs. Jordan. Also, MJ is the GOAT.
Silverback Gorilla vs. Black Bear
This is a real man’s debate. While you’re adjusting stats to other eras, other men are doing pushups and talking about what animal would dominate an Octagon. People try to point ot size of a black bear as a clear win. That being said, a gorilla has enough strength to adjust for the size damage, and pure athleticism to neutralize those claws. The bear couldn’t even beat Leo in The Revenant.
Skippy vs. Jif
The correct answer is Skippy. It wins in every category. Yet some people will tell you that Jif is superior. This is a debate that is worth having. Be really condescending to people who prefer Jif. They deserve it.
Mom or Dad
This one is simple. Whose side do you take in a divorce. For me, I’d definitely pick my mother. She is a better cook, and is overall much more helpful. My dad, however, only brings football conversation to the table, and that can be done over text. Debate this with your siblings. Their answers should be interesting.
Paper or Plastic
Plastic grocery bags are bad for the environment. Paper bags are bad for carrying anything over two pounds. This debate is essentially if you care more about your problems, or the world’s problems.
Jason and D’Andre vs. Travis and Taylor
The past two weeks in the NFL have been defined by Kelce/Swift duos. Travis and Taylor have been the talk of the internet since she watched him destroy the Bears. On the other hand, Jason Kelce has helped D’Andre Swift manage 300 rushing yards in the past two games. Until Travis and Taylor announce that they’ve consummated the relationship, this goes to the Birds.
Waze vs. Apple Maps
I prefer Apple Maps, unless I’m drunk driving, because then it’s nice to know where the cops are. Kidding. Both are super delayed on my phone because my dad talked my mom into T-Mobile for a free MLB account. Apparently people have significant allegiances to their GPS app, though.
Drugs vs. Alcohol
Both are fun, it’s hard to pick only one.
Walk Like an Egyptian vs. Walking Regular
The Bangles really did something with, “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Not only is the song catchy as hell, it invented a new style of walking. If you’re unfamiliar with it, watch Peter Griffin demonstrate. It’s a whimsical way to get around, but regular walking is more practical. This one is mood dependent for me. Great debate, though.