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Essential Friends to Make in College

You will undoubtedly meet more people in your four years of college than in any other four years of your life. Some of them you will love, some of them you will hate, some of them you will want to fuck so bad it kills you, and some of them you’ll want to be killed every time you step within ten feet of them. It’s the intermingling of people (who were considered children only months before) being put into an adult-ish lifestyle at a time in life when the desires to party and have sex outweigh the need to eat and sleep. It’s beautiful. To truly reach success in your four years (maybe more if you have a really good time), though, there are some very important friendships you should make before your time is up.

Someone older

You’re in college. You won’t be twenty-one right away. Fakes are great for bars, but they can be risky elsewhere. Lock in someone that is of legal age. 

Your RA

Bobby mentioned this in his blog yesterday, and I feel the need to reiterate it. Making friends with your RA can absolutely alter the course of your freshman year at college. I was fortunate enough to have an absolute hammer as an RA freshman year. He gave us a heads up when we needed to be quiet, and he never questioned that the reason I became progressively louder and dumber throughout the night might be the fact that what was in the cup I was drinking wasn’t water. 

A local McDonald’s employee

I would wager that in the city of Pittsburgh between the hours of midnight and 4am, I have eaten well above 1,000 chicken nuggets, and I wouldn’t even think about going if I didn’t know my boy J would be there to hook me up. I call him “J” because I know his name starts with a J. It is either Justin, Jared, or Jason, but we’re way too far along in our friendship for me to ask that of him now. Anyway, he’s the man. Two nights ago, he put two McDoubles in my bag free of charge, as well as about 15 different sauce packs. Find someone like J. 

Someone with a car

It’s incredibly rare that anyone brings a car to campus freshman year, but it’s not unheard of. As you progress through your “academic journey,” though, more and more people will have them, and you want to make sure you know some people with motor vehicles. That’s because riding the bus fucking blows, Uber is ridiculously overpriced, and who the fuck wants to walk to the grocery store? 

Someone with hot friends

It doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy, you have to find someone who has a ton of hot friends. Sex in college is a numbers game, and if you befriend someone who surrounds themselves with Victoria’s Secret models, that numbers game becomes a lot easier.

On a completely unrelated note, I saw Maroon 5 in concert last night. I’m straight, but fuck, does Adam Levine make me question that.


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Written by TFM

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