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European Sex Championship Was Even Dirtier Than You’d Expect

(Photo taken from Daily Mail)

A lot of crazy shit goes down in Europe, but this is one the wildest stories I’ve heard in a while. There’s a bunch of details, but I’ll break it down as simply as I can.

Apparently there is some council in Sweden called the Swedish Sex Federation and they decided to have a contest to find out who is the best at sex in the entire continent. Thus, on June 8th, the European Sex Championship began.

The contest was formed by some pervdawg named Dragan Bratic who owns a bunch of strip clubs in Sweden and wanted to create the first ever sex-based skill competition. The European Sex Championship included 20 contestants both male and female (although it was actually only 19 due to one contestant bailing the day before the contest began) and would take place over six weeks. The contest had 16 events with each contestant being able to win up to 10 points each round, except the final round which was worth up to 20 points and decided by viewers. All of the events and competitions were live streamed for paying customers at home.

Here is a list of the events and contestants.

(Photo taken from Daily Mail)

Female contestants were promised to be paid $880 each day while men were promised $440 (and feminists still complain about gender wage gaps), with the ultimate winner taking home a grand prize of over $1 million.

However, despite the proposed outline, the competition turned out to be more of a Fyre Fest-esque sex contest according to the contestants.

As soon as the contestants arrived at the undisclosed location (seems sus, but like this entire contest was sus so who cares), they reported that there was no hot water, poor living and sleeping conditions, and no hygiene tests for HIV or other STDs. While they were able to ignore the disgusting arrangements for a few days, the majority of the contestants complained that they were never getting their daily compensation and ended up leaving the competition as a whole.

(Photo taken from Daily Mail)

In the end, the contest was inevitably cut short due to the contestants’ exit. Once back in their native countries, contestants took to social media to blast the Swedish Sex Federation and its contest. 

Despite the major backlash from the contestants, one female contestant stood up for the contest and its organizers. Croatian representative Marija Zadravec, aka Sweet Mery, never left the competition and said that “there is no need to put pressure on the organizer after everything. As for my experience, it was great and I would like it to happen again one day because something like this is not little thing.”

As the only one to stay and having also won some of the events that did take place, Sweet Mery was ultimately awarded the grand prize and dubbed the Sex Champion of Europe by Bratic.

In the end, Bratic hit back at all of the complainers who dropped out of the contest and said that they were not hired as pornstars but as “competitors.” He argued they did not respect the rules (such as no drugs or alcohol) or act as “professional athletes,” saying “they ignored the rules of the competition and the Swedish Sex Federation and behaved unprofessionally and to the detriment of the federation. They even brought alcohol to the house and they did not act like sportsmen at all.”

Okay first things first, these people are in no way athletes. I’m sorry, but as much as sticking an entire human fist into your body is impressive, it doesn’t make you “athletic.” That said, while I don’t have a lot of evidence or proof to look at, I’m pretty sure the contestants are in the right. I mean for one thing I saw the living conditions and quite frankly it makes Section 8 housing look like the Hamptons. Also, it’s not that hard to believe that some weird Swedish guy who started a sex federation doesn’t care as much about hygiene as he does boobs and money. So, yeah, I side with the “athletes.”

As for the contest itself, I don’t know if I can call it a “great idea,” but I could definitely see there being a fanbase for it. Along with every eastern European man ever, I’m sure all those dudes on discord that still listen to Andrew Tate and live with their mom would pay big money to see some Ukrainian chick shove unnatural objects in all of her orifices. So, while I won’t be watching, I’m sure there will be another sex championship at a later time. Unless they start taking bets on it, then I’ll become the #1 fan.

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Written by Alex Becker

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