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Fail Friday November 2010: So Very ThankFAIL

Generally a much better month.  There were a lot of really good Frat Moves of a Total nature that got pulled.  And what didn’t happen as well…  We  weren’t just walking up to every single GDI and saying “Listen, GDI” or “No GDI” making up some story, or slapping the drink out of their hand and then “walking away” as often.  But, what DID we do wrong?  Just a lot of stuff that makes ya go, “Yeah, no.”  Still just making shit up that is either SO obviously false that it’s stupid or doesn’t make sense and ultimately boils down to not really being a TFM for one reason or another.
Made our pledge, Ronald, date this girl named Reagan just for the hell of it. TFM.
(Was she hot?  Oh no!  And then you made them enjoy a nice evening out and a happy ending! Got em!)
Sunday night slampiece, the one you take home to mom. TFM.
(Hello, mother.  I hope you are doing well.  I boned this girl Sunday evening.  I skipped class today to arrive here, as I did last Monday with last Sunday’s slam.  We will be returning to school now.  Good day.  Same time next week with the next girl?)
I get a boner every time I read the Constitution. TFM.
(Why? Do you do it often? I mean, no judgement… well maybe a little judgment.)
Going to Harvard instead of an SEC school because my family actually does have old money, oh, and I also got above a 20 on the ACT. TFM.
(Congrats on the above 20, not like multiple people in my southern frat ACED the ACT maybe me, maybe not… ok me.  Not that it really matters other than I have no debt,  got my MBA 1 year out of undergrad etc. Again, doesn’t matter: my coworker didn’t even finish school.  Not my whole story tho…. Maybe some other time… maybe not…BESIDE THE POINT!  Harvard has no frats.  You’re literally a geed.)
Getting hammered and running around my fratcastle’s roof with an American flag screaming “I fucking love freedom” TFM.
(This might seem to you wild and fun and funny, but it’s just obnoxious and stupid and everyone hates you.  Why do I get the feeling this is at, like 2:30 on Saturday afternoon too?)
Brunettes. TFM.
(If we haven’t already done this for “Blondes. TFM” before, it’ll come up sooner or later.  But all… well MOST types of girls are great but that doesn’t make them frat.  Just a lazy attempt.)
The GDI hanging the Christmas lights on the family’s house asked if we wanted something more colorful. Mom said colored lights are for commoners. All white lights. TFM.
(Not before December, guys!  Strike for that.  And was he just giving you whatever lights he hangs for you?  Also strike for the “no coloreds; whites only,” undertones.  I remember the forums… I see you Kentucky.)
In Texas we call boots, wranglers, costas and a blazer casual. TFM.
(And everywhere else we call that goofy.  Comments are saying “gotta be bleached wranglers. SO attractive!”  It’s casual in that it’s… NOT… formal and not semi-formal either… cargo shorts and flip flops is also casual/not formal/not semi-formal. C’mon, Texas!)
Walked through a study group of awkward GDIs on campus, one yells, “do you think your better than us because your in a frat” I reply, ” Yes I do, and it’s Fraternity to you Geed.” TFM.
(You forgot to add “And then I walked away!!!!” Even the comments back then weren’t having this one at all. Yeah, no.)
While walking through campus today a hacky sack hit me in the back. I turned around, cut it open with my leatherman and spat my dip in it. TFM.
(You forgot to add “And then I walked away!!!!” I guess it’s good they’re forgetting how this goes… but I’m still getting used to it. Yeah, no.)
Slampiece promised daily BJs if I could make it onto the TFM site…Say aah. TFM.
(Yeah????  No.)
Dad accidently pocket called me while he was giving a business speech, put the phone on speaker and let the bros listen, after he was done we all stood up and applauded. TFM.
(Y’all had nothing better to do?  I mean, I get it was probably a funny joke for HIM… and this probably didn’t happen… so all those things together….. Yeah, no.)
Last night Three 6 Mafia was partying in the frat castle after the private concert in our backyard. Juicy J exclaimed that when he was our age he wasn’t a GDI, he was in a gang. TFM.
(The council will have to deliberate on the validity of this suggested technicality… *deliberates* *returns* Yeah. No.)
TSA didn’t pat me down because the agent said my shorts were short enough to tell I’m American. TFM.
(Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah?  Nooooooooo.)
Shaun White is one extreme GDI. TFM
(The snowboarder?  So is this observation supposed to be a TFM or… Yeah, no.)

And yet as much as things change, so do they stay the same.
I was told I had a good time. TFM.

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