in ,

F*CK MARY KILL – Kellogg’s Cereal Characters

Feel free to call my therapist

FUCK – Tony the Tiger

Tony is sexy. Also, so positive. Every thing is great. He plays basketball and is nice to small children. He is built af. Yes, his cereal will give you diabetes, but it’s only because he’s so sweet.

KILL – Toucan Sam

He is kinda annoying. Also, fruit loops is extremely gay. I respect the pride, love my gay kings. But I don’t want to find out later in life my husband is gay :/

Marry – Lucky Charms Leprechaun

Yes, he’s short. But he is chasing that gold. I love a money hungry man, as a money hungry woman. He also is constantly running away from kids. This is good for me, because I don’t want to have kids for a long time. I am also Irish. So I know that he loves to drink and can understand religious guilt. He is the perfect man for me. Not to mention those tasty marshmallows.

Written by Caroline Bano

Super boring girl with mediocre personality....but I'm hot. Read my blog. NYC.

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