Since I have a keyboard and the capability to post on this website, I’d say that makes me the most intelligent person… ever? So, I took it upon myself to solve five of the most commonly argued upon debates for everyone reading. You’re welcome.
Tits or Ass
Let me ask you this: how many men have breasts? The answer is just the fat ones. You know how many guys have butts? All of them. Because of that, it’s pretty obvious that tits win in this old as time debate. Women have both. Men have one. Therefore, tits are better. I won’t be taking questions at this time.
The man who created the first gif says that it’s a soft “g” sound, so I roll with him. The creator of the gif gets to decide how it’s named. I don’t agree that it should be a soft “g.” In fact, that makes no fucking sense to me. But I didn’t create gifs, so I’m going to have to go with what that guy says.
Smooth or Crunchy
Some peanut butter is better than no peanut butter, so in an emergency, I guess it’s fine to eat the incorrect one. It’s called peanut butter, though. That means peanuts, turned into the consistency of butter. Does regular butter have chunks of dairy sitting in it? No. That would be gross. Therefore, smooth peanut butter is how peanut butter is meant to be consumed. Only psychopaths and sex offenders eat chunky peanutbutter by choice.
Flats vs. Drums
If you say flats: you’re correct. If you say drums, you’ve clearly disappointed lots of women with your attempts at going down on them. Get your tongue work up, bro. If you can’t wiggle around to dig out chicken meat, you’ll never satisfy a woman.
Cheerleading: Sport or Not