Five Guys That Are in Every Fraternity

The Who Bidded Him?

This dude will never cause any real issues in the frat, but he is the fucking worst. People will constantly be wondering who in their right mind decided to let him in because every time he opens his mouth, the entire room wants to walk over and kick him square in the nuts. If he ever did anything wrong, you’d drop him like a hungover shit, but until then, you’re stuck dealing with that fucko.

The Never There

For whatever reason, this guy has made the decision to pay his dues in full for the past few years yet still never go to anything. Everybody likes the kid a lot, but you haven’t seen him at anything fraternity related since Lev Bell was still a relevant running back. No one cares a whole lot that he doesn’t show, but you’re all wondering why he even bothers staying in the frat.

The Always There

The exact opposite of the last guy, this dude wants to be buried in the backyard of your fraternity house. Sometimes his passionate love for the fact that he’s in a fraternity gets a little weird, but he cares so much that you end up having to do very little in the fraternity. 

The Liability

Every fraternity has one, and this is the kid that you constantly have to worry about. The Liability can come in many forms – maybe he drinks wayyyyy too much and consistently gets into fights, maybe he doesn’t understand that some things simply shouldn’t be said, or maybe he’s just so stupid that almost everything he does is borderline dangerous. Keeping him out of trouble is a pain, but he brings glorious stories to the history of your chapter.

 The Fun Police

He often means well, but this guy is the king of ruining a good time. He plays “Closing Time” too early, cuts you off at the bar, and is constantly worried about absolutely nothing. He’s normally a pretty good guy, but you just have to make sure he never gets any position of power.

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Written by TFM

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