After leading the 49ers to thirty points while playing another mediocre football game, Brock Purdy has showed the world how easy his job is. Anyone with twenty-four or more hours of Madden logged in the last year could likely lead that offense to a NFC West Championship, but Brock Purdy gets to be paid handsomely for the job. I’ve worked at Dairy Queen before, and resent him for how easy his job is. Here are five people with harder jobs than Brock Purdy.
My Middle School Lunch Aid
That poor woman was not qualified enough to run security on that lunch line. I was somewhat of a kleptomaniac with chicken nuggets in grades six through eight. I was taking two to three extra nuggets per trip and tossing them in my basket. She had too much on her plate to pick up on the complexities of my scheme. Her job wasn’t as physically demanding as Brock Purdy’s is, but she definitely had to game plan more than he does.
Your Boss’ Daughter
You know the one I’m talking about. It doesn’t matter if you work at a restaurant, in an office, or for anywhere else. The daughter of either your direct boss, or the company’s owner is likely taking up a spot on the team. She is horrible at her job, and everyone resents her presence. There is no pressure for her to do any work, but her status as a social pariah as a result of nepotism is way more stressful than anything Brock Purdy deals with.
Any DoorDash Driver
Yazmir got me my Baconator combo in record time last night. I don’t know how he navigated the Wendy’s drive-through line so fast, or how fast he needed to go to get to my house as quickly as he did. Either way, he likely dealt with more adversity on his way to my house than Brock Purdy did all night, and his end result was just as good.
The 49ers’ Hydration Specialist
Christian McCaffrey could just take the ball straight from the center and run where ever he was already going. He’d score just as many touchdowns. That being said, he can’t be running back and forth to the sideline for water all night. The hydration specialist in San Francisco has to calculate the best times to get people water. He doesn’t have a Kyle Shanahan to hold his hand through everything.
Me
I’m not saying I have a hard job. I’m just saying that these sub-standard fart jokes don’t write themselves, but Deebo Samuel touchdown passes could probably throw themselves.
