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Five Pieces of Advice for College Freshman

In my almost two and a half years at college, I’ve had seven encounters with RAs in which I had to go to hearings, been assaulted by a homeless man, fought someone over a Spin scooter, been kicked out of several parties, and overall been more than my share of a nuisance to the city of Pittsburgh. In that time, I’ve learned a few different things (aside from the mass amounts of information I take in during my classes, of course). Here’s a few things I wish I had learned earlier.

Never schedule a night class

I learned this lesson freshman year when from 6-8:30pm on Wednesdays I had to drag myself to Detective Fiction (a real joke of a class) for an entire semester. I then proceeded to forget that lesson and schedule a 6-8:30 on Mondays and (now this was the real mistake) Thursdays this semester. There is nothing worse than the two and a half hours I spend thinking about how my weekend should have already started every single week. Don’t make that mistake.

Don’t make your dorm room the hangout spot

As tempting as it may seem to constantly invite people into your room during the first parts of freshman year in order to try and make as many friends as possible, don’t do it. This is because people will always be in your room. I was fortunate enough to have my neighbors two doors down handle that task in our first semester and my next-door neighbor handle it in the second semester of freshman year. I spent insane amounts of time in those rooms, and I thank God that I was the burden on them and not the other way around.

Order your own toilet paper

Let’s just call a spade a spade: the toilet paper your college will provide in your communal bathrooms will be about as see through as me telling people I genuinely care about – actually let’s not make that joke. But the toilet paper fucking sucks. Order your own and hide that shit where no one will steal it. Trust me, your asshole will thank you.

Use your skips, but don’t use them too soon

Most professors will allot a certain number of classes you are permitted to miss before it affects your grade. Now the easiest way to do well in college is to simply show up and pay attention in class, but let’s face it: we all have days where we just can’t handle a certain class or a certain professor. So, use your skips, but don’t burn through them too soon. Wait until you’re actually burnt out (like me right about now) to take a day where you can focus on getting a little extra sleep and, if you’re feeling productive, getting some extra work done. 

Get off campus the second you fucking can

If you take nothing else away from this blog, please listen to this. Living on campus sucks so much dick. It’s the absolute worst. I fumbled the bag freshman year and ended up staying on campus sophomore year, and it’s probably my biggest regret so far in college. Freshman year dorms are a wild and amazing experience, but I can’t say the same for sophomore year on campus apartments. You still have RAs, it’s usually more expensive, and overall, it will just lessen your experience at college. If you’re at a school that makes you stay on campus for more than just freshman year, I am sorry for you. If you’re not, get the fuck out as soon as possible.

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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