TFM
Some college experiences are universal. These things include going to class hungover, getting rejected romantically, and finding ways to pass a class that are more complicated than studying. There are also some professors that you will cross paths with no matter where you go to school. Here are five professors everyone has in college.
The Dictator
This person decided to become a professor to create a strict set of rules they could force others to follow. If you email this person addressing them with anything other than doctor, you will fail the class. They might even have you whacked for such a blatant sign of disrespect. They accept nothing after the assigned due date, and will make you want to drop out. This person will not make you smarter. They will expedite the speed at which you are becoming an alcoholic.
The Veteran
This can be referring to the fact that they have been around a while, or that they are old enough to have served in several different wars. The new technology that controls every single classroom above the second grade confuses them. But their love of European Socialism won’t allow them to hang up the cleats. If you do a little bit of work for this person, you can abuse their lack of Canvas knowledge. Appear to be a good student when you are in class, and this person will assume you are a high-functioning college student.
The College Student
If you bumped into this person on the elevator ride up to class, you would assume they are a well-dressed fifth year. They look way too young to be teaching the class, and this will give them a desperation to earn respect that will almost always be unsuccessful. This person is so desperate to earn your respect, that if you talk to them like a human being and turn in 70% of your assignments, you will be a hero in their eyes.
The Flaky One
This professor misses more class than the kids in the back who pregame it with a bowl at eight in the morning. Whether it’s because they are sick, their kid has a dentist appointment, or their dog has a playdate, there is always something with this professor. They typically come in really frantic about missing class, despite every student loving them for it. It’s typically a sign that this person’s life is in shambles, or at the very least terribly unorganized. Let them know it’s ok, so they do the same thing next semester.
The Hot One
If you take four years of college class, you should almost accidentally take a class with a hot professor. When you get blessed with a hot professor, your attendance skyrockets, and you pay more attention in class. It’s almost the school’s way of tricking you into participating in their curriculum. In my opinion, all teachers should be hot. If they were, the amount of learning happening in classrooms would be at an all-time high.
