Booze. Most people love it, and some of us love it a little too much. I tend to fall more into the ladder camp than most people. So I figured I’d combine my twin loves of Sons of Anarchy and endless mountains of booze, and speculate on every SOA character’s drink of choice. Some of this is research, some of this is speculation, but all of it is entertainment. Keep in mind none of these choices are cannon and are all for fun and games. SFFS and happy drinking!
Number One: Jax Teller – Jack Daniels
Classic, mean, and sour. Redneck in origin but also Sinatra’s favorite booze. Jack Daniels is a versatile spirit that has become iconic in American pop culture. Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead used to drink a bottle of it every day. David Allan Coe sang about it. So did Eric Church. As Sons of Anarchy’s main character, Jax represents the archetype of the all-American good ol’ boy. He’s the everyman, an icon of the show and of the outlaw with a heart of gold that all of us could (and in some ways should) be. So what better drink to pair with this lovable desperado than a drink quintessential to both Americanism and the outlaw lifestyle in general?
Look, Jax even drinks it in the sho-
Well this whole point is ruined now.
Number Two: Tig Trager – Steel Reserve
This pick doesn’t come from the show as much as it does from personal speculation. Tig is what the medical community would classify as a weird-ass motherfucker. In that way, several of his personality traits synch up really, really well with Steel Reserve. He’s strong, kinda gross, and he gets the job done for a pretty cheap fee.
Plus, he’s almost scarily effective.
At 8% ABV, Steel Reserve is the best way to get drunk on a budget when liquor is unavailable. It’s trashy, but functional. And, it’s been responsible for unquantifiable amounts of vomit and revulsion.
Just like Tig.
Number Three: Gemma Teller – Jim Beam
Once again, this is more speculation than anything based out of the show. Jim Beam is a staple of Kentucky Bourbon. The liquor has a sweetness to it, one that catches the drinker off-guard when the burn comes around. Like Gemma, Jim Beam has rustic roots but an enduring quality that allows it to fit in anywhere. It can be as classy or trashy as it needs to be. It’s the kind of booze that anyone can enjoy – a real life of the party liquor. Speaking of life of the party….
Number Four: Juice Ortiz – Jägermeister
Juice is a lot like Jäger. He sticks around long past when he should. He’s present at several disastrous events and his presence has destroyed friendships, relationships, and property. But on the flip side, when Juice (and Jäger) go good, he’s a great time to have around. The good times and the bad times go hand in hand, and there isn’t any in-between with these two. Things are either going great, or they’re going horribly wrong. When was the last time you met somebody that drank Jäger with moderation?
That’s what I thought.
Number Five: Clay Morrow – Chivas Regal
Chivas Regal has a weird place in biker history. Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote the quintessential biography of the Hells Angels back in the 60’s, used to swill Chivas Regal like it was spring water. It’s old, expensive, and (allegedly) delicious. This is the scotch that successful people drink. Bosses, if you will. And who is more deserving of the title of boss than a man who steals a motorcycle club for himself with trickery and violence, then rules it with an iron fist?
Also, I think the idea of Clay Morrow swigging fancy scotch in between murders is funny, and you can’t take that away from me.